Depression Supporters Support Group

that's sweet and thoughtful...when my hunny (supporter) was helping me through me roughest times, all he needed was some time alone once and a while, whatever it is he likes to do to unwind and refocus so that he wouldn't loose it lol and that gave me time to manage independently for the times he couldn't be around...saying thank you to the little things they do helps, take some time to focus on them when you can( do something they like to do together), let them know if you had a good day or that you've been feeling better lately, surprise them with a special meal maybe, or ask him even, if he doesn't know yet, i'm sure he'll think about it and let you know and apprecialte it just because you asked ...i hope this helps and good luck ;)

It sounds like you are really in tune with your condition, and that in itself is absolutely wonderful. I would encourage you to do what you can to show your husand some warmth and kindness, even at times when it is difficult for you to do so. It doesn't have to be something elaborate or planned - you'd be surprised what looking into his eyes, and touching his arm will mean for him. I think that as a supporter, that is one of the things that we miss the most - knowing that we're special to those we are supporting. Take care, and God Bless You.

I think yesimkidding said it quite well it doesn't have to be anything big, just a kind word/gesture and a good old hug once in a while means a lot. Hang in there, and God Bless

Thank you guys so much for your responses. A lot of the things you guys are saying seem like it's exactly what he's been needing.
I don't want to keep seeing him have to suffer because of me. I'm going to start seeing a Dr. tomorrow. Hopefully soon I'll be on the road to recovery and he'll be able to have the old me back again!

I have tried asking him what he needs and he just tells me nothing that I should be able to figure it out, its felt like the part of me he needs is the part of me that feels dead, my heart. I cook for him and make him his favorite meals, wake up early to make him breakfast even on my days off, but service doesn't seem to be his need. It definitely seems as though it's my warmth, sometimes I feel as though he can sense when it's that I genuinely just want to hug him and when I'm doing it for him.
I want to give him all those parts I just feel like i've lost them.
I just don't want to lose him, physically or emotionally.
Thank you guys for your help!

Lexpea:

Don't worry about whether he thinks you're forcing yourself to show him some kindness. Speaking from experience, he will appreciate anything you can give him regardless. In fact, to me, it is almost more significant if it doesn't just come naturally from my husband because I know that he's really having to try extra hard to show me that he cares.

It's great that you're going to see your doctor - I know that in my husband's case, he is very relieved to finally be on medication that is straightening out his mind. And I'm sure you'll get that same relief with your doctor's help.

thank you yesimkidding for your encouragement!

try showing him your original post/ nothing more sincere or appreciative than your own words...a sexy nightie can work wonders too!

hmmm...lol that's true ibronson ;)

i have used the sexy nighties for him :D
or they days he works and i'm off I try having everything cleaned and his fave foods cooked and then try doing the works...lotions,makeup, hairdone, nighies and heels..
but I think that only works for that moment..idk. :\

Here is my two cents about what I would like from my girlfriend who is suffering from a pretty bad case of depression. I finally kinda "get" that I can't solve this for her, even though that is my instinct. She is so focused on herself and what she's going through that I also feel like the love, caring, attention, interest is gone.

If I could say what would make me feel better about things I would agree that it's the little things. When she can muster up the energy to tell me how much she appreciates that I 'love her for who she is", or asks me how my day was, or even sends me a text message in the morning to say good morning (we live in different places) - those things mean alot. Just knowing that she is thinking of me - and takes action to let me know helps me tremendously!

So much of her time is spent consumed by what she is up against - that to have her take a minute to focus on me, lets me know she hasnt forgotten about me! Sometimes I feel like she has.