What is Depression - Childhood
Clinical depression is a state of sadness, melancholia or despair that has advanced to the point of being disruptive to an individual's social functioning and/or activities of dail...
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13 Year Old Newphew In Trouble
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Hi Everyone,
I'm really at a loss. I live near my sister and her three children. (my 13 year old newphew - just turned 13 in January is my sister's first child who she had when she was 19). His father is out of the picture and she married someone else. She has two additional children ages 3 and 1.5. Over the past few months my oldest nephew seems to have gone downhill very rapidly. My sister pulled him out of his first school at 6th grade since he was being bullied (he is a bit smaller than most kids his age). She put him in a new school and he seems to have attached himself to a boy that isn't doing him any good. He has that skater look - just to give you an image. Hair in his face all the time. His friend "Brian" is just the same. They started to spend time together at the start of this new school year. But now by nephew has become withdrawn, angry, depressed, moody and anti-social. He's constanting texting this boy Brian and doesn't seem to have any other friends to speak of. A few times he's mentioned "not wanting to live", not caring about anything other than his friends (which appear to be limited to Brian and Brian's girlfriend). Just recently my sister found out that he was cutting himself (about a month ago) and that he did it again this past week. She's at her wits end and doesn't know what to do. Part of the problem is that she was young when she had him and she hates that his father left them. She knows that she needs to stop talking bad about him but I think she gives my nephew the impression that he is going to turn out just like his dad. My sister and my nephew seem to have a very toxic relationship. My sister is controlling and easy to anger or upset. I'm sure this isn't doing anything any good. As an aunt and someone who cares for my nephew I'm not sure what to do. I want to see him grow up and be happy. Right now he's downright miserable and sad. The fact that he talks about hurting himself worse than he already has is getting all of us alarmed. Please help! Anything you can advise on would help. Also, my nephew is entering counseling and my sister started her own counseling since she knows she needs some help too. Slowly but surely they are working on it. . . THank you! Posted on 03/17/09, 11:03 am |
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Sounds like your sister has her hands full! I think it's great that your sister is getting counseling for herself and her son. They are taking the right steps.. If she could make some special one on one time with him that might help, doing something he would enjoy. Even if her husband could do that with him too it might help with his self-esteem..
I think it's so great that you are looking out for your sister and her family. Perhaps you could help out by offering to watch her other kids so they can have some one on one time with their oldest? Or maybe offer to take him for a weekend to help them get a break from the moodiness?? There are a couple of books by Dr. James Dobson that may be worth looking into. He runs Focus on the Family, a media and educational organization dedicated to the preservation of the home. He has several topics such has raising boys, and self confident children. I've just started reading "bringing up boys" and it's pretty good so far. Hope any of this helps! 
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Hi Momof3! Thank you so much for your reply. I really appreciate it. It's great to hear that we are off to a good start. I will definitely pass along the advice to my sister. I think spending more time with him individually will help tremendously.
In fact, my uncle (a retired air force guy) has offered to even have my nephew come out over the summer for a week to do some fun activities and again next spring break (2010) for some skiing lessons. He's a master skier and could really help him boost his self confidence too. I believe with all of us keeping on top of it and surrounding him with love and support he can get through this hard time. I suppose that's what families are for! :) Thanks again!
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