What is Depression - Childhood
Clinical depression is a state of sadness, melancholia or despair that has advanced to the point of being disruptive to an individual's social functioning and/or activities of dail...
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Depression as an excuse
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Sometimes my son gets really depressed. He takes an SSRI, but sometimes the depression breaks through. He's just 13 and I feel so awful for him. But I homeschool him and I make him keep doing his work or make him go to his tennis lesson even when he doesn't feel like it. I tell him that feeling depressed may be a reason that he doesn't do as well one day as he does on another, but it isn't an excuse. He feels it is. Should I lighten up? I know how depression feels and it's really awful sometimes. I'm scared if I lighten up, he'll start using it all the time. Advice?
Posted on 10/04/08, 10:10 pm |
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This is a tough situation. I am faced this with my 12 y/o son too. You want them to be educated and know what they have so that they can work through it in life. But you dont' want them to use it as an excuse.
My son seems to be doing pretty good with not using his ADHD or depression as an excuse for stuff. We don't bring it up unless we absolutely have to. He knows he has it. But I told him everyone has something in life they have to deal with. This is his. And he will have to learn how to go through life and function with it. I, too, have depression, so I know how crippling it can be. But we can't support them shutting down. We have to keep them going and functioning in life the best they can. That means making them do school work. ANd taking them to those lessons. Sitting at home and not doing anything is about the worse thing you can do for someone with depression. Thats more time to sit around and think about stuff and how bad it is. If you force him to continue doing what he needs to do, you are telling him that yes, you do have depression, but that doesn't mean we let it shut down our life. Thats just my opinion anyways. My mom and dad have depression too. And I don't feel they helped me at all growing up with how to successfully live with depression. I had to teach it to myself years later through much therapy. So, I'm trying to do different with my child. Best of luck to you. I know this is hard! 
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Thanks for these tips.
I have a hard time parsing thru what's depression, regular teen moodiness, situational stress and plain old copping out of stuff with my 14 y.o. son. I will def'ly use your suggestions with my son. Thx 4 the insight ... and it helps to hear from someone who suffers depression also. Beth
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