What is Depression
Clinical depression is a state of sadness or melancholia that has advanced to the point of being disruptive to an individual's social functioning and/or activities of daily living....
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bf/gf relationship rules
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i have a minor dilema. minor because i haven't really acted on it, but i really want to.
one of my best friends, whom i love dearly, has this ex-boyfriend. They had dated for years, but she decided to move away and on with her life, so they broke up (for other reasons, too). They say they're single, but I'm sure she still has feelings for him and they hook-up whenever she comes back home. (They live really far apart.). They've been "broken-up" for about 2 years, now. In the last year, I started having a crush on this guy. I've always been attracted to him since he's technically single. I've been single for years on end. Recently, he and I and some other of our friends were at a party, we were drinking a lot, and we suddenly started making out. It was the most amazing feeling I've ever felt, not just because I hadn't been kissed in so long, but I'm just on Cloud 9 in more ways than one. The next morning, I called my girl friend and told her what happened and apologized because I know she has feelings for him. I didn't tell her I have a crush on him (which has increased, of course). I really didn't want her to hear it from someone else, because all of our friends here were in the next room at the party and knew what was going on. I really don't want to hurt her, but I'm totally gaga over him. I've talked to him since, and it seems the feeling is mutual. I wish they'd just end their relationship and really move on, because I think it's holding her back a bit. I don't want to be a slut or lose her respect or damage a friendship over a guy. But something just felt so right with him, and I'm having a really hard time resisting. :( If he's an ex, then why is there an understand social rule about not dating your friend's ex? !!! Posted on 10/27/09, 07:10 pm |
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because to be friends with you, she has to be friends with him, and most ex's stay in the gray zone as far as friendship and relationship. if it becomes official, that you and him are together. then he officially becomes a friend of hers. this then puts more stress on the past, and normally, an official judgment that she doesnt want to be friends with him, so she doesnt want to be friends with you. its best to leave ex's in the gray zone. 
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:( dammit
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i had a so called friend do this shit to me with my ex of 5 years. it hurt my feelings and then i turned around and beat the bitches ass
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Respectfully I disagree. If you like him, and he likes you, and he and your friend ended it years ago, then you two have every right to become a couple.
This is the kind of game that people play that drives me nuts. If she chooses to be angry with you two, that is her choice. As far as I am concerned it is very immature, yet not uncommon. It is her issue to deal with. Think of it this way, does anybody have the right to declare a man or a woman 'off limits' to their friends? That is one very dangerous step on a slippery slope. What next, can she declare this guy off limits to EVERY girl and beat up any person who tries? Sounds like gang banger talk to me.
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i fully agree with thepepperman!
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I think Pepper gave great advice. you deserve to be happy and gaga. Good luck!
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thanks PepperMan :)
I notice, sometimes, that women play "the game," and men see it like I do - that an ex is an ex. he's not "hers" anymore. but I also don't want there to be awkwardness between my girl friend and me. it's like a debate on abortion. both sides are right and wrong at the same time. *le sigh* who knows... maybe he just wants to get laid. ... :-/
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im a man. i think exs should be left in the gray zone. you can date him, but expect complications.
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dammit! :( AGAIN! hehehe
oye. when am i going to find a guy who is straight, single, AND not a friend's ex? *headsdesk*
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hhhhmm.. it's a toughy..
Now, what I want to know is this - do you like HIM, or do you find him sexually attractive? Really think on this one and try to be honest with yourself before you answer. See.. we girls do a funny thing sometimes - when we find a guy sexually attractive, we decide to justify that attraction by telling ourselves we LIKE him.. and then whaddyaknow it seems, to us, that this particular guy has all the charming qualities we are looking for.... Now, if the answer is YES you do like HIM... Talk to your friend. Ask her, for one, why she still sleeps with him, when they have been broken up for 2 years. If it's simply a matter of convenience - hey, we all like to get laid.. and since we've done it before we might as well do it again until one of us is taken - so be it, not an issue. If this is the case, and she is cool with you two dating, their banging should stop (obviously) and thye should both be willing to do their best to keep the situation from getting awkward. If, however, the reasons for them still sleeping together go beyond simple convenience, stay away. It will only make things awkward for all of you.... If she has an issue with you two dating you've got two options - choose him over her and lose her as a friend.. or don't date him. Here, you have to decide who is more important...
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