Depression Support Group

have you talked to your husband about how you feel. he probably just feels bad he hasent seen her for so long and is trying to make up for that. i know how you feel jealous you want your kids to be hisnumber 1 priority and they are cause he has been taking care of them. BUT you also have to watch out his daughter is not taking advantage of him .talk to him giving her money all the time is not the solution spending quality time to know her . but he also needs to invole you and kids cause your his and her family too. once a while

she shouldn't be using him for money and it does sound like she might be. she may also feel that it is making up for missed birthdays and other holidays. that is very common in situations where the parent was missing for years. why was he? he should have been there for her. she could be angry with him and taking it out in gifts.

i do have to say though that regardless of what is going on you have to be very careful with how you react to her and need to try to stay the hell out of it i at all possible. i can say that from experience. i had a step mom that used to yell "what about my kids" a lot and who would tell me and my mom that we were taking things from her babies by asking for the child support my father agreed to pay for me. she was constantly jealous and angry about my mother and me being in his life. she was nice to my face but i was very aware i was "that woman's child" and it hurts. to this day i have no respect for her and i dislike her intensely.

no offense to her or you....but my view was i was the oldest child and was there long before her and her kids and was his kid too. therefore, i deserved at least as much from him as her kids got. i had no issue sharing him with them and her but i felt that i needed time with my dad without her and her kids once in a while since we were family before they came. i enjoyed doing things with them as a family too but he was my daddy too and sometimes i just wanted or needed him only.

so my advice is to please be very very gentle and careful with this situation unless you want to be at war with her forever. now that my father has died, my half brothers (her kids) and i still get along great....but if she fell off the planet tomorrow i wouldn't care at all. please don't be like her and interfere in this complicated situation unless he is bleeding your family budget dry to placate her. try to remember that she may feel like he abandoned her and see if you can find some happy middle ground for all of this.

I had conflict with an x's daughter, and now I am an ex. I would pay attention to what bmoney suggested.