What is Depression
Clinical depression is a state of sadness or melancholia that has advanced to the point of being disruptive to an individual's social functioning and/or activities of daily living....
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Father constantly berates me
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I am a twenty year old student living with my parents due to a two year long heroin addiction. As a result, I am left with horrible depression, fatigue and chronic, widespread pain. Perhaps I was self medicating. I have good days mainly with my mother because she is so upbeat. When she goes to work, I start feeling worse. What compounds this is my father. Where should I begin. I love the man but sometimes he says things that really hurt and do not go away. Im losing it again tonight. He is accusing me of not walking the dogs with him, which is the basis for his "everyone screws him" argument. I try to do my best and cope and help the man but I can't take this much longer. Ive got twenty dollars and scoring some pills or heroin just to take the edge off living here is sounding better in my devilish side. Sure, sometimes I cannot walk the dog or wake up for school when he is here alone. However, just because I feel better when my mom is around does not mean I am somehow trying to attack my father. I'm sick of it.
Posted on 11/06/09, 02:11 am |
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"People with paranoid schizophrenia may have over-the-top (grandiose) mistaken beliefs (delusions) about protecting themselves from the plot that they think is against them."
Best way to say it. He denies any mental issues. I don't know. Am as terrible as he says? I just don't know anymore. Is it me or him. 
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I am not judging anyone, but a 20 year-old heroin addict living with his parents is not likely to go very smoothly. I am sure your Father is on eggshells when it comes to you. He is frightened, angry, imposed upon, exploited, disappointed, and confounded.
You need to get into intense rehab and get off all illegal drugs. When you do that, all kinds of things will improve, .. for you mostly and them secondarily. Your world will transform from extremely fucked up to something in the range of normalcy. I am sorry your Father is making it tough for you to live in his house but I am sorrier you have a monkey on your back. I hope the next thing I hear from you is you are checking into a detox center in a matter of days and then an EFFECTIVE rehab program.
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scoring some stuff to take the edge off will only make it worse.
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the demons in your head are screaming feed me
any drugs or alcohol is just making them stronger u cant control it on your own get help I'm a father of a 19 yr old heroin junkie its very tough on me so I'm sure its tough on him let him know how u feel hes probably hard to talk to so wright him a long letter b nice and tell him how u love him and that u need his support and how he is making u feel he cant interrupt u in a letter and b ready for questions and hurt feeling after he reads it keep your cool be strong and if it doesn't work out move in with a ant or a cousin that's not a partier u need to do what ever it takes to get strait and your life back, get rid of all your friends that drink or get high for the same reason an alcoholics cant hang out in bars good luck post back let me know how it works out
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The last two posts were effective. I am currently not using and have been clean for about a month again. What happens is I stay clean for about month to two months and then feel like I am driven to use. For me, two days or pure bliss are worth the next months of agony that I know I would suffer, regardless if I had used or not. If I had any other family here in the states I would try to move out, but they are all in Finland. I just wish I never smoked that Mexican opium extract to begin with...
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I am currently taking Suboxone, seeing a psychiatrist, and a therapist. I talk daily with my father. Some days, like yesterday, where the dog had pooped inside, seemed to be my fault. Or my moms.
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very cool
try 2 get more help if you can if its cool with your dad now and hes giving u support now stay Thar help and support is one thing u need i know its hard i watch my son and it just brakes my hart so for u and your mother and father sakes just keep trying your hardest keep me posted good luck
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I am thinking of going to SMART groups but my past experience with NA/CA/AA was terrible and now I despise those kinds of things. Any more ideas and suggestions would be great. I just wish my father could be happy and pain free. It hurts me so much to see what he goes through every day. I've been such a f-up. I can't cry anymore. All the things I have made my mom and dad go through. I don't know why I cannot cry anymore. I only hurt.
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Your father is hurting also. Because of his love for you every time he looks at you he feels the pain. He wants to help you and don't know how. Every father wants to fix things for their sons, but there are some things that he can't fix, so next he blames himself. Where did I go wrong? What if I had spent more time with him? Why didn't I see him turning towards drugs? ...... Your father just doesn't know what to say or do to help you. So, he maybe treating you as if you are 10 years old again (makes him feel as if he's getting a second chance to be a real father to you.
Don't be hard on him, and DON"T return to the drugs (that's why you are where you are) they only make thing worse.Try talking to your father, don't be surprise if he doesn't want to talk yet. You may need to give him time.
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don't know what smart is
but a lot of the aa na bla bla bla s r just places the courts send offenders. so most people don't want to be there and drag the others down but not all are that way so i wouldn't give up on them yet but if that smart is good go for it your parents i don't now what if any of this applies to you only you do its just to give you an idea of wear there at I'm going on how my son has made us feel hes stolen about 20k and pawned it for about $500 from me ad my wife and a about grand from his brother has shown no remorse hes lied cheated any thing for the drug and the fact that it was heroin that alone is enuf to scare the shit out of them and the disappointment you ll have to work on them share with them what your doing give them articles to read have them join this group and go with you to some of your meetings you'll have to teach them what its all about but don't wine to them that will just make them dread talking to you my sun gives us attitude and it doesn't make us want to help so if you have an attitude lose it you ll have build their trust prove your getting better but they need to know you may stumble and they need to help pick you back up and get you back on track in a perfect world hope it works out Keep In Touch K.I.T
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