What is Depression

Clinical depression is a state of sadness or melancholia that has advanced to the point of being disruptive to an individual's social functioning and/or activities of daily living....

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In Category: Crisis Center
Discussion:
I can't talk to loved ones
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I can't bear to hurt them with this but I am choking with this hurt...and cannot take much more :(

I want to die, but am scared that it will hurt...not only me but my loved ones too.

Will I still be allowed into heaven if I do this my way? I want to know that there is a better place to go to after this.

I am laying in bed as I right this, Really thinking about dying like I never had before.

I don't want to hurt anyone, I just want to get better.

Doctors fob me off with pills, work tells me to cheer up. They don't know whats going on in my head even when I tell them, the demons inside me are winning......
Posted on 10/25/09, 02:10 pm
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Reply #1 - 10/25/09  7:25pm
" hugs "
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Reply #2 - 10/25/09  8:47pm
" Don't give up yet. Talk about what is eating you up, if no else seems will, I will listen. "
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Reply #3 - 10/28/09  11:38am
" I know it is hard but I always think of what it would do to the ones who love me if I ever did that. It would devestate them. I also know that the bible does say that it is wrong and that is reason #2. I want to go to heaven. You are doing the right thing by getting help.
I am sending hugs your way I know how sad and lonely it can be. "
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Reply #4 - 10/28/09  4:49pm
" Big hugs - stay on DS until your feelings change. "
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Reply #5 - 10/28/09  6:42pm
" Is there anything that lessens the pain even a little? The thoughts of those who love you? The pain seems inescapable but it will lessen. Have you tried to distract yourself to pass the time? I know it's hard, but that's what I've been trying to do so I am not always alone with my thoughts. We are all rooting for you... "
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Reply #6 - 10/28/09  6:42pm
" I do not know what words to say to encourage you to hang on. It is difficult when those around us do not understand. I do not go to church anymore (probably a backsider, lukewarm, or failure--I do not know how God views me). However, I have studied religion and the bible. One thing I do when I am getting seriously depressed is pray and bawl--literally sit on the bathroom floor and cry like a four year. Sometimes I have gone to the park. Whatever God thinks of me, I still turn to him/her in my grief and express my deepest feelings. King David had many stresses and many tears also--Psalms are filled with his distresses. "
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Reply #7 - 10/28/09  6:48pm
" You have gone through a lot trauma. It takes a long time to recover. We do not want you to die--hang on--I hope you feel as if you get enough support from DS. "
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Reply #8 - 10/29/09  1:05am
" You are not on this earth by accident. God made you for a purpose, his purpose. He gave each and everyone of us gifts,talents,abilities he wants us to use for this purpose. When someone commits suicide he / she will never know what God had planned for them. God never wastes a hurt and sometimes he makes us go through the hurt to teach us something. I have been to the point of suicide numerous times in my life but I'm still here. I still think about it but I think more about what God has planned for me. I know ther are non-believers on this site, believe me they have let me know it, but I believe I am still alive to fulfill God's purpose for me. In case you are wondering what the bible says about suicide: http://www.behindthebadge.net/suic... God Bless. "
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Reply #9 - 11/01/09  1:21am
" I too wanted to die at one point in my life and have tried but failed. Then I realized that if had died then I was only passing on my pain and anguish on to my loved ones, which wouldn't be fair on them.
The almighty likes to test the spirit, you may be experiencing the big test. I know it's difficult to see but life is precious and if you were to take your own then, test failed.
I know its easier said than done but we have to just keep on trying no matter how hard it is, get help from where ever and who ever you can. The test is long, hard and has some nice bits on the way but once you pass, the reward is...well I don't know what the reward will be, but what I know is that I can say at the end I past the test! Keep on striving and trying, Don't give up!

Much Metta. "
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Reply #10 - 11/05/09  9:40pm
" it will be ok. dont go and hurt yourself cause it will hurt everyone around you more than you know. and no the doctors and people at work arent going to understand because it is your problem not theirs. people are selfish and cant relate unless it is happening to them to. just talk to someone one here. you never have to see them in real life so you wont have to worry about them judging you. have u ever wrote things down on paper?? just dit down and wirte. dont think about it just wirte whats in your head. take a break look over it read it. then rip it up and trash it. i know it sounds crazy but you have to try it bofore u disagree. i hape things get better. hugs "

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