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So Fucking Sad. You too?
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today at work i kept getting really sad and depressed over really random and silly things. i can't explain it and its really goofy thinking about it afterwards, but let me know if you experiance the same things if you are depressed or anxious at all so we know were not alone. Anyways i work at an amusement park so im always around a lot of people and were out in the hot sun all day so people get sunburned obv...lol, anyways i saw this guy with crazy hair and a really bad sunburn and i just got really down. idk why, the guy wasn't doing anything he was just walking but he still looked happy and excited to be at this amusement park in 10000 degree heat sunburned as fuck with crazy sweaty windblown hair and he just kept trucking along like the happiest dude in the world. It shouldn't make me sad. Its one minute detal in my day but it put me in "the mood" anyways and i was sad. he was fucking mess for christ sake and he was still smiling. just smiling and walking. he was sunburned and smiling...
I talked to my ex also. This was alright cuz it gave me some closure for our relationship and stuff. That was good and it didnt make me sad at all except for something he said to me. he said "I've gotten clean, cut my hair, working out and getting back to the old me and i just wanted to say thanks for that cuz you were a major cause of that." he then went on about his hair aand he was so excited. he seemed sooo happy and excited about his hair cut like a little kid n christmas. this made me sad also. why was he so happy about a hair cut!? he was sooo excited, so pathetically excited about this wonderful achievement of a haircut and he was so happy. It made me so sad to see this. i dont even know why. i wasn't like sad because he was happy or anything i think it was because he was so happy about something so simple. a fucking haircut and he was excited like some goddamn kid in christmas. i was sd for the same reason i got sad at work. it was pathetic. you dont get sunburned and keep smiling just like you don't get that excited over a haircut. it was pathetic. they were so pathetic! so happy and smiling and excited over nothing and here i am sad as can be because theyre so goddamn happy about nothing. can someone even relate to this or am i just so messed u that i am completely alone? -Lydia Posted on 06/16/12, 12:42 am |
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No, your not alone in that, I used to paint houses, at times I was so thankful to be working alone because I would have those days that I would just cry, I didn't even know why. I worked with a bunch of guys and never wanted them to see me like that.
As far as the smiley happy people, I can also relate but for me they would just make me sick, like what the hell! why are they so damn happy. I think that I was resentful because I wanted to be happy too. I finally went in and got some help for my depression the meds I take pretty much keep me on an even keel. Although I cant really say I know what its like to be real happy. IDK if I am much help but hey I tried. 
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I know what you mean! The thing you have to keep in mind is they are either normal or medicated to the point they ae nomal and you can be too! Get rid of the stigma of being on meds and find a pdoc who can help you with your depression! Most people don"t realize this sadness is treatable especially when you are feeling this way! I know how bad it sucks, but there are a ton of drugs out there and people that want to help you! Quit looking at anti-depessants as a negative thing! I know fom experience they can turn the bleakest life u can imagine to somewhat normal. I still have depresessed moments, but not the consistent hatred for someone who is happy! I know what it's like To cry all day! Thanks to Lexapro that's been reduced to an hour a day on a half dose because it plays hell on my IBS! You can and will be happy again! Just seek the right help! HUGS!!! Ted
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Thanks for the reply guys!! XO I'm just worried about antidepressants because I wouldn't even know how to explain to my parents my situation! I'm good at covering up my feelings and emotions so if I just came out and said I'm depressed and all they wouldn't understand the depth of my emotion they would think I was just sad tht day or going through a phase :/ they wouldn't want to face the truth tht their little girl may have problems.
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If your parents won't listen, talk to your doctor or a trusted teacher or counselor at school. Lots of times parents want to write off depression as a "phase" all teens go through, but it is very real! Perhaps when they hear the message reinforced by your doctor or another adult, they will get the message.
But please reach out. There is help and you don't have to feel this way. Life's too short to be sad all the time. Sending hugs!
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I understand how you feel. I've never been a happy person but I was severely depressed in high school and something about your sadness just reminds me so much of that time in my life. Seeing others happy was just absolutely unbearable for me, and seeing them happy about simple things just reminds you of how you can't be that way and don't understand how they can. I saw a counselor at my school a few times, probably needed to see her more than that, but it helped those few times to have someone to talk to. I also made friends with a guidance counselor who like me had just experienced a death in the family, and she helped me more than anyone else because I had someone to talk to who was going through the same thing. The last thing that helped me, which sounds kind of lame, was a book I bought for origami that kinda took my mind off of the sad things. I made countless pieces of colorful paper art and it's fun and simple, it helped saved my life. Any kind of hobby you enjoy will help and if you are sick of the old ones then there are plenty of new ones for you to discover. Lastly, if you feel like you need help, then please explain to your parents that it is important that you find someone that you can talk to. If I survived then you can too, I hope I was able to help.
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People who are overly happy piss me off..and then I feel guilty about being pissed off at them over NOTHING.
I so wish I could be that happy.
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Hey Lydia;
It's been almost a week since you posted. Hoping you are doing well. I'm doubt I am the only one who would feel a bit more at ease if you posted an update. Cheers.
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It will pass. We all know this, right? I think the hardest part about depression is the cycle. Knowing it will pass but that it will also come back. And I say, FUCK YOU DEPRESSION. Life is beautiful - its just fucking harder than hard sometimes. And almost impossible. But that's why we are all here now, right? So we will know we're not alone in this battle.
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