Depression Support Group

I think it is well worth it if you are able to find a therapist that genuinely cares and that you click with.

I have not spent a large amount of time in counseling - about 5 months in college and then a few weeks last year when I had a reall bad mental breakdown after a breakup.

Neither time did I go to an actual psychologist or psychiatrist - always to a personal counselor whose background is in social work or personal therapy. I find that those types of people are far more genuine in their attitudes toward people who need help. I also find that rather than right away trying to diagnose you and shove pills down your throat they truly listen and try to understand why you feel the way you feel and help you work through the things in your life that you have the ability to change.

But that's just my personal experience(s). Take from it what you will :)

Gigers, I recommend you go. I know myself how hard that is to do.
Even if it is a weird psychosamatic thing, isn't it worth getting that sorted?
A had a friend who went through things no one should ever be subjected to and whatever you think is horrific, double it. He spent 9 years in therapy, he neded it because of what had happened to him, many of the peices of his horry story, he felt were minor, some he could hardly live with the thoughts.
He is now free from a seriously didturbed mind, has a beautiful wife and son.
Get all the help you can, many of us don't get that opportunity.
Good wishes to you

I know this is not what you are looking for.. but this is something I wrote a long long time ago and showed to a really good friend of mine so she could understand how it really felt for me. It helped a lot, she seemed to get it more after reading it. Though it doesn't explain WHY I feel the way I do when I'm depressed, it at least showed her HOW I am feeling so she could help me deal.

Depression Hurts... here’s how it feels

- I feel hopeless
- I feel inadequate
- Life seems meaningless and pointless
- I feel like I’m simply existing, not alive
- I feel numb, cold, and emotionless most of the time
- It feels like the entire world is closing in on me, yet life is a distant and foreign thing
- I feel immense guilt all the time
- My whole body aches
- I’m tired
- I’m either emotionless or extremely sad
- I feel like an alien in the world of human beings
- I feel lonely and isolated – even when I am not alone
- I feel like no one notices me
- I feel physically sick at times
- I become unmotivated
- I can’t concentrate on even the simplest of tasks
- I can’t understand things that are normally entirely within my intellectual range
- I can’t think coherently
- I have a hard time making decisions
- I lose pleasure in life’s activities
- I find it difficult to care about anything because it seems pointless, but then I feel guilty for not caring
- I feel like it must be my fault that I feel the way I do
- I become angry and frustrated with myself
- I lack passion
- I feel insignificant and undeserving
- I feel lazy
- I feel uncreative and dull
- There is no vibrancy in life, only grey
- I cry at the drop of a hat and constantly feel on the verge of tears
- I fantasize about dying and about being inflicted with physical pain
- Sometimes I inflict pain on myself
- I hate myself for not being able to overcome this
- I feel ugly
- Every task seems daunting and impossible
- It feels like my mind is completely blank for most of the day
- I lose my sense of self
- I forget things I normally would not forget
- It feels like the whole world keeps moving while I’m standing still
- I feel trapped
- I fantasize about breaking every object I see
- I feel like I’m not really here; that I can see the world and touch the world, but I can’t feel it and I can’t change it and it doesn’t know I’m here
- I feel lost and confused
- I lose interest in socializing and find it difficult to be around other people, but when I’m alone I feel isolated and afraid
- I feel like there is something evil about me
- I give up on my goals, or at least wonder why I should bother
- I feel like everyone is judging me
- I feel disgusting and think that if people knew what was going on inside me they would think I was disgusting too
- I feel disconnected with myself and with the world
- I feel immoral
- I feel like giving up
- I feel like no one knows or understands me nor wants to
- I feel fake because I am so disconnected from myself that I have no idea who I am so everything I do seems phony
- I feel guilty when I think about suicide because of the pain it would inflict on my loved ones, but then I feel angry with them for being so selfish as to not just let me go
- All I want to do is hide but there is nowhere to go where this won’t follow me
- I cease to live and only exist; I feel dead inside
- I feel like I am wandering about this world aimlessly
- I feel overwhelmed by everything
- The smallest inconveniences seem like huge obstacles that I can’t overcome
- I feel like I am looking at the world through a glass box, not really part of it

Shit!! I posted that in the wrong thread!!!!

I'm sorry!!!

Lol - I just thought you were expressing there for a moment..... on my post!!

No it's ok. no worries lol

Well you are saying it as if I am blessed.... The only thing I am blessed with is stupidity and a wired will to survive - as I've always said, my love for myself goes deeper, [real deep lol] than any kind of love on the physical, perceptual plane....
It is vanity that keeps me here lol - There is no point comparing myself to anyone, or trying to imagine what you or I cannot imagine otherwise NO ONE would be going to therapy - I either jump down off that building, pace along without pleasure, or get "help"....

I don't think I need an intervention of some kind - as in, every single day, there are things inside that need some intervention, but it's not the end of everything.... I know from experience there is a pecking order even with victimhood, and people will try to make their victim-status seem better, or try feel better about themselves by running you down about how your behaviour is not worthy of itself - you haven't earned the "wisdom" brownie points to get up the righteousness ladder....
I often viewed my life as a theatre, and I was the main character - this still remains, but as some kind of joke-"rape"-therapy, then back to joke, then the whole audience shares the joke - only to realise the joke's on you. But you inevitably laugh, not out of denial. We passed through denial a long time ago - no, my life isn't serious enough to actually feel emotions connected to myself.

I know the score ok...

I wasn't locked up in a dungeon and made to go into labour with Dad's baby....

But I was locked up away from society. From reality as I should see it, and I do all the blaming in the world now only left to one person and there is no secondary guilt or remorse, I KNOW I am like a soft little lamb and this is the problem.

Even weak people know how to be strong, or defiant, or hold their convictions no matter how fucked up they are; I haven't apparently, "earned" the right to even be a weak, slobbering, worthless jackass, so yno -
I have been humbled.

And silenced. And it's ok - no denial! i mean it. I am ok with it. Being OK, being HUMID is all there is, and it's only when you stop being the God in your universe that you see your demi-god status as somewhat a joke - I am living my own parody!

but that's also ok. I am only 19 - and whatever pat on the head I get from any direction is a reminder of the novelities that I have [I am] which are only on the surface level.... Too much complaining, too much "over-analysing" as everyone keeps telling me - traits of a different personality (aka different from yours, not 'different')means it needs to be numbed out, it means it's not normal!

'Don't think too much, even though that's apart of your personality to think the way you do!' - it's not thinking 'too' much, it's thinking like me. I am not intelligent, i am not fucking intelligent, I am self absorbed, daily lists of Pros and Cons self reflection - it's not deep, take a good fucking look - if I am "deep" and reflective, or whatever, then this means you must be pretty dumb!
Seriously - I KNOW MYSELF.

There is nothing to me. I have no personality. Perhaps, we cracked the problem. LOL

have a nice day - I will refrain from this obsessive posting. I am getting annoyed with myself.

just find a crazy boy and you can share insanity. its cheaper then therapy, and you get to be a therapist, and a patient. its like role play. :D