What is Depression
Clinical depression is a state of sadness or melancholia that has advanced to the point of being disruptive to an individual's social functioning and/or activities of daily living....
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I've been struggling for a few years now, just over four. At first it was major depression, then it was a 2 year spell of dysthymia AND major depression and over the past 18 months I seem to be all over the place, I wouldn't know where to put myself. Psychiatrists are hesitant to diagnose me with anything and one has recently prescribed Fluoxetine and Epilim. I'm still confused as to why I need a mood stabalizer if she didn't say I had bipolar disorder, but oh well, I guess she had her reasons.
All I can say is that off the medication I had days where I felt like everything was going to turn out great and now on the medication I have no more of those days, just depression, endless nagging depression. I should probably give the medication more time to work but I'm really angry that it's taken away my only good days. I guess that staying awake for days at a time wasn't normal, but at least I wasn't wishing death upon myself like I am right now. I doubt that I'm ever going to get rid of this thing that's ruining me, or maybe I'm just ruining myself. Some days, throwing myself in front of a train seems too easy. Posted on 11/05/09, 06:11 am |
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My brother is manic depressive and from the sound of your post you sound manic. Again, I am not a doctor. Have you read about manic depressive illness at all? It might help and only you really know if you have the same symptoms as those of someone manic...but my brother has mentioned that mood stabilizers make him feel numb - and that he has often felt better off the meds because he feels more creative and "better" overall. The problem is, when he's not on the meds, the mania takes over and he isn't even him anymore. He's only been hospitalized once - but I think that was enough for him to want to remain in treatment so he has control of his life and not the illness. He still gets upswings at times, but he has a doctor and a therapist to help him through it.
Mania is sort of the opposite of depression. Rather than a lack of energy, you have an excess of energy. Your mind goes very quickly instead of slowly, which makes you feel good - you feel creative, sexy, like you're on top of the world. Your mind is going so fast, you can't keep up. Sometimes, it's frustrating because others can't seem to keep up. You don't feel like you need to sleep. You get irritable or angry easily but then just as easily can break down in tears. Spending money without thought. Anyway, just some of the symptoms that I remember reading off the top of my head. You can read about it here http://www.allaboutlifechallenges.... Hope that helps and I would ask your doctor if he asks if you've been through something, to describe what he means by that if you don't know. It's just some meds for depression may set off mania, and that's not a good thing. Take care of you and I hope tomorrow is not a throw it under a train sort of a day. Hang in there. It's great that you're looking for help. 
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By the way - never just quit taking any psychiatric meds without talking to a doctor. The side effects of going cold turkey can be worse than what you had to begin with.
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