What is Depression
Clinical depression is a state of sadness or melancholia that has advanced to the point of being disruptive to an individual's social functioning and/or activities of daily living....
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So, I'm in that deep dark depression that is all too familiar. I've come to terms with the fact that I am an alcoholic and am going to quit drinking. My big source of depression and anxiety at the moment is the fact that due to my drinking and crazy lifestyle that I have been living to escape my depressed life...I have to go in to work tomorrow with a bruised up face and face all of my colleuges.
So, I'm very anxious about it but I'm forced to lie about what happened and I'm going to say that I was in a car wreck instead of I was drunk and don't know what happened. You know I guess my big question is...everyone around me is that I have let know about my depression is always reminding me of all the great things in my life and how fortunate I am. I just wonder why I can't see them that way and why I stay in this constant funk and just could care less if I died or not. I mean I know that there are lots of people less fortunate than I, but I can't help feeling hopeless, helpless, alone, and doomed... Anyway...sorry for the rambling... Posted on 07/05/09, 04:07 pm |
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And there is the big bad wolf of depression.
It doesn't matter how many people tell you your life is great, if you are deeply depressed then you cannot see through the darkness. You're stuck. But that can and will change. Very well done for admitting you have a problem with alcohol and I wish you the best of luck in quitting. Are you going to be attending AA meetings? Are you seeing a therapist? Try some different things to get you going on your way to recovery and I'm sure you will find something that works for you. Good luck. 
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Hi Danny, welcome to the depression support. Please don't apologize for rambling, that's what the board is for.
I hope you will truly take this experience and learn from it, sounds like you want to. Depression is a bitch and entails a lot of work, dedication and desire to get better. As you know, alcohol is a depressant, so when you drink you're just adding fuel to the fire. If possible, get medical assistance to aid you in your road to recovery. I could give you 10 reasons why you should care that you are alive, but it's futile if you don't have the will to change. You should, truly. Live is wonderful and precious, a gift. Don't piss it away.
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oh my...
=[ decisions and mental support is great, but you also need to change your environment. is there any way to possibly move or stay with friends or family? i fear even with a positive attitude, youre life style will direct you back to the abusive path youre in now. i suggest contacting some friends, joining a support group in person, or contacting family. find ways to change your environment. dont quit your job though. :D
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Good luck to you indeed!
Car wreck sounds believable. And be sure to say it was your buddy's car to save trouble.. keep it simple. I don't advocate lying usually, but in these days a fellow needs his job! You are sure to find an AA group and a sponsor near you. You can even check out their "Big book" at most libraries . You can do it! If taking it a day at a time seems to much take by the hour or minute.. The first step is taken, good luck with the rest of your journey
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Hi Danny...welcome to the boards. And don't worry about those "less fortunate" than you right now....after you've been able to help yourself some, maybe you can help them. But not right now.
Those who always remind you of what you have and how fortunate you are....don't suffer from this illness, or if they do, they hide it even from themselves. Depression doesn't care what you have...it only exists to make you miserable. It knows no boundaries. Just keep doing what you're doing here i.e. reaching out and recognizing what it is that you need to work on, and like Uhm says, try AA or a therapist if you aren't already. Much luck to you!
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