Depression Support Group

Oh FFS Sistah! Don't start this shit! Some 4th of July Fuck with Everyone shit for today!
Enjoy everyone!!

lol! why bring any of this up now when no one was yelling about any of this for days and many have already made their apologies for fights over this crap? it WAS nice and calm for once. i take it you needed to see fireworks here today?

Yes! she will start fireworks here cause they are banned in CA for tonite!

There is many ways to show support. But some ways are just better then others And not because I say so but because of years and years of doing it in a such way that ha prooved it so.

Alot of us have seen therapist over the years. from what I can see the advice given and support shown is what we have learned thru therapy.

It's caring about the behavior of others that 'enables' us to understand them. It's also a basic requirement in having any empathy whatsoever. No matter how much one may be disliked, simply ignoring them, to me, shows some lack of respect (bar a troll).The alternative is to not care and do nothing. Which is detrimental to the person who is wanting to be helped.

With regard one member, there is a genuine need to help this person escape from the habitual life of negativity by offering endless advice again and again. It's seems to lack a degree of humanity to simply ignore that person. So the help has been offered from all degrees. From the 'huggy wuggy wove woos', to the practical, logical, then the much harder approach (which is still proactive because it's borne out of frustration at the utter futility of making the effort in the first place......until results are made).

Which is worse, really?

Getting infuriated at the lack of progress from another, in which case you have to care to reach the infuriated stage in the first place.

Or simply offering well-meaning, yet impractical hugs to said person that well and truly utterly enables them to remain.

I see those that are criticized as being harsh and 'mean'. Yet judging from my time here I gauge that the people making those 'meanie' comments will, contrary to what some may think, be OVERJOYED to see that member move forward and finally take the great advice being kindly offered. After all, people are taking the time to write long, well thought out advice in the hope it will help, only to find it may as well have been written in Mandarin for all that it was heeded.

Indeed, it's those genuine attempts at help, as opposed to platitudes, that will give that member the very best chance.

Sometimes it's not within a person's conscience to sit idly by and watch or ignore the plight of another. DS would be a poorer place if we all didn't 'care so much about the behavior of others'.

I can see what you saying Jazzie....But there were people who did handle the situation well with the OP. ,,,I am just not sure if the OP was really willing to listen to what people had to say.,,and of course that lead to some cold hard truths being said to her...trying to get her to see what alot of us see,,,,she seem ike she started to open up a bit and then did the "i won't post here anymore" bit. To be fair to both sides...the OP asked for help & and suggestions .....and people answered her,.It may have been what she wanted to hear...but for the most part people do want to see get better, - Let me send you a pm..so I can exlpain better.

hi, i think that ds wants to make sure that no members are berated. i've never had a problem here and i've been on since mothers day. i've seen some posts that i can't really relate to and i'll either ask about it or ignore. but mainly, i think that people find the best way to communicat on ds is by being supportive in a way that is acceptable to the majority. if things posted are offensive to others then it probably belongs elsewhere. but today, is a good day when people can take a break from responsiblilites and reflect on how lucky we are to be in this great (but imperfect) country or ours. Have a good day.

Stevey, as usual a well thought out and considered response...

I hope you are heard.

ditto BBK!

Really JG - live and let live. If a Satan worshiper came on and said something about their faith, it wouldn't move me and my faith one bit. To each their own.

Love yah Sistah!!!! : ) Hugs Lexi