What is Depression
Clinical depression is a state of sadness or melancholia that has advanced to the point of being disruptive to an individual's social functioning and/or activities of daily living....
Join Now
Clinical depression is a state of sadness or melancholia that has advanced to the point of being disruptive to an individual's social functioning and/or activities of daily living....

|
ENABLING vs TOUGH LOVE
|
Watch this |
| View More Posts Ignore |
Certainly there are times that someone may just need a simple hug and a few kind words, and this post is not in reference to those situations.
For many of us, DS has been a place that has provided positive ideas, support, and change. There are however, some people that seem to thrive upon pity. When we continue to enable these self destructive behaviors, we are only validating that persons' desire to hide from their real life issues. I hope for the emotional health of these people, that they someday will be willing and able to confront their depression and anxiety, by making positive steps in real life. We all know that positive change cannot truly be achieved, if we don't begin to take control of our issues. The most difficult steps, are often the most helpful in the long run. Drugs, therapy, counseling, the internet, etc.....should never be expected to be the sole solution, and certainly should not take the place of hard work, determination, and social interaction. I hope that for for everyone's own emotional stability, that we might begin to realize that sometimes the only answers from those that are truly trying to offer support, will be honest, tough, non-enabling, non-validating, and simple answers. I don't think that there are many of us that are here to disrespect others Unfortunately there are some that because they may not care for the advice or opinions offered, tend to manipulate or ignore those words of support......again, attempting to gain validation. Thank you to all of those that are not afraid to be completely honest. It can certainly be frustrating to offer sincerity and "tough-love" advice, only to have it twisted, ignored, or thrown back in your face. Just an opinion. I absolutely hope that everyone here finds success in treating their depression. I know that we all have needs, and this post is not meant to belittle or trivialize anyone's issues. Posted on 07/04/09, 12:07 am |
| 35 Replies | Most Recent | Add Your Reply |
| View More Posts Ignore |
I agree with you. If you can't handle people being honest then you shouldn't be on here. I also agree that we need to take steps on our own to get better. I hae battked depression for years until I decided the I has enough.
Yes I take stuff for it but the thing is that I was able to get better when I was determined and came out of self pity mode! Not to say that I still don't at time still get depressed. At least now I know the symptoms to look for and knoe the steps to take to hope fully halt it before it gets to bad.
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts Ignore |
yeah! I love it! Kudos to you for posting that just then!
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts Ignore |
I agree Anthony, I would rather be honest with someone that disempower them by continuing to hug them and molly coddle them which gives the impression that their behaviour is acceptable.
thats what it comes down to for me......dis-empowerment.....that is what enabling is
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts Ignore |
I agree completely. The best friends I have made here are the ones who have told me - gently - things I might not want to hear and encouraged me to face things that are difficult.
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts Ignore |
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts Ignore |
very well said Anthony!!! Kudos to you...no one and i repeat no one can help you if you aren't willing to help yourself.... i am on meds but i have also been in extensive therapy and i have to work on my issues daily.
some days are better than others,but i myself know that i have to put action with my words.... Happy 4th Anthony and thank you for this post.
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts Ignore |
I agree as well.
it doesn't have to necessarily "tough" as in harsh or cruel, but it needs to be honest, and easily understood. no fucking around. no point in even talking at all if the communication is fraudulent.
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts Ignore |
Great post Anthony :)
I so agree with you, there is alot of enabling or ppl here. For those who get advice, support and love over and over, its like how many times can I suggest this. I really like this part Anthony For many of us, DS has been a place that has provided positive ideas, support, and change. There are however, some people that seem to thrive upon pity. When we continue to enable these self destructive behaviors, we are only validating that persons' desire to hide from their real life issues. Theres a time to be gentle with someone and then theres a time to throw down some tough love and be brutally honest with them. Happy 4th Anthony!!
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts Ignore |
I can't express my appreciation enough to those that have replied. I am apprehensive to ever start any threads here, and this was no exception, but I really felt very deeply about this for the past several days, and felt like I finally wanted to get this out.
So much respect to you all. Thanks, and have a GREAT holiday.
|
|
|
|
||
| View More Posts Ignore |
A choice? I will take the Tough Love, please. Love in any guise is preferable to the alternative. My own experience is that the toughest love to give is the love I must give to myself. When it becomes easier, then I will know that I am healing. No pity for me. I am the only one qualified to pity me, and I have about run out.
|
|
|
|
||
| First | Previous | Page: 1 2 3 4 | Next | Most Recent | Add Your Reply |
