Depression Support Group

No one got to be where they are today over nite. And no one expect us to heal overnite. But as long as you sit on a pitty party you will not heal any faster. What is it that you want to hear how bad we feel for you or how you are right that you can't do anything right. Well that is a waste of time. Yours and mine. Say you want to hear + thoughts so you can your brain out the sticken thinken mode.

kano said it all listien to that wise person, she knows what she is talking about

I read this.......

There is simply nothing else to say Jen, you have repeatedly gotten great advice. Remember back a year ago or more, I used to tell you stuff in an honest , straightforward manner, and got bashed for it....now everyone is saying it......

Still I've tried every which way to get you to understand....many here have.
You aren't hearing it or having it, therefore I am now officially DONE trying to help you.

Good luck is all I can say.

It makes me sad to say this TP but unless you change your ways and work hard to sort out your life then you will never get better and it will be no ones fault but your own.

You've repeatedly been given great advice, you get lots of replies to your posts and yet you still don't listen. You don't even listen to your therapist! How many times do you need to be told the same thing before you realise that this might just be a problem for you?

Please stop with the 'I wont post anymore' crap, it's infantile and you are better than that.

Heed the advice, make the changes or tbh TP, people are going to stop replying to your posts. There is only so many times you can suggest something to a person and have them ignore it before they give up and maybe that's a big part of the troubles you are having in your relationships.

Please listen and try. There's nothing else I can say.

Good luck. I hope for your sake that you listen this time.

I said this in a PM and I will say it here as well, TP you wonder why you lose friends? do you listen to them? do you actually listen to thier advice and thier concerns? Friendship is a 2 way street, you have to be there and listen to them and advise them as well as going to them for support.
i know if you and I were friends, I would have stopped the friendship by now, the frustration of watching you allowign yourself to stay in the self pitying, victim role you are in is damn hard to watch.....to watch you to continue to allow yourself to be abused by your boyfriend consistatnly even tho everyone EVERYONE is advising you to what an asshole he is......it is draining and hard......so yeah...I would have stopped all contact with you as well......as I will be now. When you are able to actuall listen and actually learn.....well if you are...good luck girl is about the only thing I can say.

i have to agree with most of what i have seen here. tp you have gotten so much support over the last year or two that we have seen you here. have you been printing your posts to put in that binder like we have suggested time and time again? have you even considered that the abusive dead weight you have at home could be holding you back? i doubt that counselling will work with him since i am sure he will just make it all your fault again and waltz off scott free like you usually let him. really think about that. why would soooo many ppl here be saying he is a waste of time and skin? we can't all be wrong.

Here's a hug sweetheart :)

Mohamed had to go to the mountain, TP. We can open the door but we can't force you through it.

Okay jen

I think your positives are you a an excellent friend to other people

I see you give out a lot of support - for example you are always the first to make a post about some feeling suicicidal with a link for us to all give support which is great

so I think you are being unfailry critised about not being a good friend

so PLEASE don't let this upset you

I see a GREAT amount of effort on your part - I see a person fighting to be the best person they can be

your posts are not always negative - alot of the time you post about how you are feeling happy and feel like that you are making progress which is FANTASTIC

however sometimes you take a few steps backwards and make a negative post which is ENTIRELY normal

Jen you wil take 5 steps forwards but then 3 steps backwards how ever oveall you have still made 2 steps forward - so you are always making incremental steps

recovering from years of abuse takes years to revcover

but YOU will get there

I would say it took me 10 years to unravel my abuse and only then did I start to make steps forward - I still am in recovery and I am still trying to recover

So it is normal TP for you to be posting over and over again - it is your brain attempting to brake the negative cycle of brainwashing that was brought on form your abuse - some of your abuse will be affecting you in a unconscious way - you may nit even realise your negative behavioue - however eventually it will surfave and you will have yo try and stop it.

I was in a womens refuge and they told me on average it takes a women 6 times of going back and fourth to an abusive partner before she can finally break free for him - I.e she will attempt to leave him 6 times but always go back to him until she learns to become independent

therefore I totally understand why you are stck in an abusive realtionship

I hope you find the courage to leave him

I'm not here often so I do not know your pattern Jen but I want to say that I totally agree with what sacred said.

This is not a simple process - getting better. It is a matter of understanding and changing how you view your life and yourself - one day at a time. Best of luck to you - on a very difficult journey. Just don't give up.