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triggering... acceptable suicide?
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when is it acceptable for a person to committ suicde?

* when nearly know one listens to you?
*when youve been feeling suicidal most days for 7 plus years?
*when you feel so vile you wanna rip yourself to shreds daily
*when your in debt and cant see a way out of it?
*when you have no friends and are totaly isolated?
* when you fail to be able to talk about anything therefore therapy doesnt work?
* when you fear failing everyday?
*when you start not caring about your appearance and no one wants to look a how fat and ugly you are now?
*when you will never be able to show ypur loved ones your arms ever again because of scarring?
* when everyday nothing is good enough?
* where daily you fall asleep because the stress is too much and hurts your head and your muscles.
* where you fear people and things.

oh the list goes on........ and maybe this should be an acceptance becaus eim at the point i cant even be bothered to finish of the list or this post.

Posted on 12/07/12, 04:31 pm
45 Replies | Most Recent Add Your Reply
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Reply #41 - 12/09/12  2:06am
" Sweetheart, I am so sorry that you're going through so much right now. It must be overwhelming for you. I deal with some of the things you're talking about and yes I admit that I think about suicide sometimes but it's only thoughts---I know I have to keep going for my son. But I am in a constant state of self-blame too and yes it is abuse related for me too. I don't have all the answers but I can say that you're not alone and there are many people here at DS who can help you get through these issues. Keep talking and reaching out for support. It can and will get better, little by little. "
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Reply #42 - 12/09/12  2:21am
" No, it is NOT acceptable. You are not responsible for the abuse. You are an ok person. If the pdoc didn't help you, maybe you should check into a hospital for a short time. The depression is making you think dark thoughts.

You are not upsetting me. We are here to listen to you and to care for you.

Sending you hugs {{{{{ rotting }}}}} "
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Reply #43 - 12/09/12  5:14am
" here in the uk you cant just check yourself into a hospital. you have to be criminaly insane nearly to get put in one here or at highly extreme risk.........i.e. you try to take your life by overdosing and it does nearly kill you or you try to cut to kill yourself and end up cutting a major vein ect or both at once. then ud still be lucky if you got made safe and put in one.

what people dont understand is i have tried alot of things to be better, lots of type of meds, nearly all types of therapy, hospitalized, crisis team intervention, working with a support worker and social worker weekly, things to be distracted, exercise, eating well, self help books, mood monitoring.......... lots of things that are based around different therapys both single and group work.

im tired! im tired of everything only working for a little bit if that then falling through. ive started a med again i used to be on but im not hopeful and think i will be crushed again when another thing doesnt even really help.

i tryed to work with therapy as much as i can but now im tired. besides they wont even consider me for it any more.
i enjoyed crafts when i was inpaitent but they arnt really making any effort to try get me on the art therapy group either.

all through this ive had to carry on doing my university degree or try hold down a job and ive failed to do tha massively at times.

im too dam TIRED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "
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Reply #44 - 12/09/12  8:53am
" I'M EFFING TIRED TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

at 45 I am tired of this hard life we live - LIFE IS HARD! ...but its still better than the other option which is death - I have failed at life but I don't want to go out defeated - I want to win! Because I know that I can if I just don't give up -

I'm going to tell you something - I love death, funerals, cemetaries, the darkness surrounding death - it's all wonderful - but I don't want to die right now - the only person who has the right to end my life is the one who gave me life - and I'm not talking about my mother! ...

please don't hurt yourself or take your life - it isn't yours to its really not worth it - like I said before:

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

I really want to say more and add more and talk to you more but I am allergies have been kicking my butt going on three weeks now - and last night they kicked in to HIGH GEAR - I feel like CRAP - but I still have to get up and go about my busyness of LIFE!!!

I'll say it one more time - Please, please don't consider suicide an option - LIFE is such a better choice even with all of its problems and there are many!!!!!!!!!! "
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Reply #45 - 12/09/12  11:02am
" Rotting, I have not shared your exact experience, but I do know what it feels like to have parents that didn't care enough to do right be me and provide me with a better life. I will say just because they completely and utterly failed you doesn't necessarily mean they don't care at all and wouldn't care if you were gone.

That said, you parents failures should not determine your self worth. Believe me I know that is easier said than done, but remember we cannot choose our parents. Some people get luckier than others in the parents lottery. It doesn't mean that we are somehow less because we drew the short end of the stick. Our parents' failures are theirs, not ours.

You may feel like no one cares, but that might be because you aren't opening yourself up to it to allow people to care. I have gone through life feeling like I have never been cared by anyone, but I'd like to think I have found a friend who cars on here. There is a whole forum of people on here and a whole world of people out there who are waiting to care. You just have to open yourself up to it.

You say you try a lot of things and it doesn't help, but have you ever thought maybe you give up too easily? I know the defeat of feeling like something works and having it fall through again, but you have to realize that is normal. You are still going to have good days and bad with depression. If you have been depressed for years, it's not going to suddenly go away unfortunately. It will take time and work. You have a load of stuff to work through. That's just not going to go away over night, but it can fade and you can heal with time and effort. Don't give up on something that works if it suddenly stops working. Keep pushing through and you may find some relief again. Eventually you will get to the point where the depressed days are fewer and fewer. The only way you are doomed to fail is if you give up. "

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