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Rude Nasty lady
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I'm a caregiver and do caregiving for this lady
that's really mean, rude, and negative.
Should I stick it out? I'm on medicine but even
so it's hard to take and to shake off even when
I'm not with her. Any advice? I wonder if there is a job
that exists were one is not treated like crap from
Posted on 12/06/12, 07:09 pm
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Reply #21 - 12/08/12  3:41am
" @Zazas~This is what you wrote
I know how you feel about leaving her regular caretaker in a lurch. How long will she be gone for? Is she returning soon? If so, I would hold out a little longer. If she is planning on a long term absence I would give her notice to find someone else. Of course, find someone else first. My sister and mother in law did this type of work. I know how it would mess up with others giving you a good recommendation if you don't handle this right. Good luck to you.

I don't think you understood my explanation of the situation I was describing. However I appreciate your response.
First the other caregiver is not gone. She just leaves to do errands for like 4 or 5 hours and comes back ~ then i go home.
I would never leave someone in a lurch without making sure they have found someone else. Also I am trying to handle it right which is why i reached out for advise. But assuming that i was going to leave someone in a lurch without notice is not a correct assumption and never was my intention.
Its okay though sometimes I misinterpret what others are describing also and jump to conclusions. "
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Reply #22 - 12/08/12  3:51am
" update
I let the caregiver know that i would be willing to work evenings and overnights from now on as I will not have as much interaction. But that because i'm trying to take care of myself emotionally that I don't feel like it's healthy for me to deal with someone like that.
She was very understanding and kind. So I will only be doing days for the next couple of weeks to give her time to find another day person. After that I will just be helping her periodically when she needs evenings and overnights.
Thank you all for your tips and advise, much of which I can use in many situations in my life when dealing with stress.
And most importantly I feel good that i can come here and present something and feel like there are caring, kind people that I can learn from. I hope that I can help others as well. "
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Reply #23 - 12/08/12  4:45am
" I don't think you should have to put up with that kind of behavior even if she was a family member or had some other "good enough excuse" for the way she's treating you. I think you should at least confront her and tell her you don't appreciate the way she treats you. You say she does not have dementia or Alzheimer so I assume that means she is capable of being part of a normal conversation and can respond to what you say to her. "
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Reply #24 - 12/08/12  5:07am
" Sadly, all jobs are "services", serving another human being. But, as others said, there ARE other patients, perhaps who are a little sweeter. But, remember, getting old sucks, and they're just externalizing that they feel like crap, on you, the nearest person in close proximity.

Meantime, while you're looking for a transfer, I'd kill her with kindness, and a sense of humor. It's what I try to do. Sometimes people DO raise the ire of my anger though. I take it out on the weights when I work out after work. "
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Reply #25 - 12/08/12  5:12am
" I also see in your profile that you're interested in art and design, in addition to "human behavior".

OK, you're currently making money in human behavior. Any way to sideline, moonlight or free-lance in art and design?

I like to diversify myself in two careers: One, for financial stability, one for creative freedom, and additional cash. It would be nice if the more free, creative career paid well enough to live on, of course! "
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Reply #26 - 12/08/12  8:51am
" My mother in law is exactly like this. It is very passive aggressive!
What a passive agressive is doing is getting their "jollies" by pushing your buttons and watching you squirm.

I found, at least with mother-in-law, I just say, "uh-hum hum" or some other non-commital things OR NOTHING at all, as I walk away or do something else until she decides to be polite to me.
It really works.

Then there are days when she refuses to let up. On those days, I just imagine things that I would do if I did not have to put up with her.

Earplugs work well to muffle the noise of a rude person.
Good luck "

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