Depression Support Group

Hell, I can't remember what I did yesterday. :)

20 years ago I was living in my first house, working for animal rights at a job I loved and was proud of. I was full of hope for the future, planning a 2nd career as a plant nursery owner, growing medicinal herbs. I had plenty of money in the bank, friends, dreams and goals.

I can't make any of that happen now, thanks to poor health, age and lack of money.

I'd tell myself to enjoy life while I could 'cause nothing lasts. I'd also tell myself that I was going to live longer than I ever expected, so I should save, save, save money!

LOL Lance!

etherize, I completely agree!

I married because of my religion and my parents and ended up divorcing twice. I think I would tell myself, forget men for a while and go to medical school. I thought I was in love.
I would have encouraged myself to have more self-confidence.
Yesterday I was thinking about the many mistakes I have made in the past and I decided I needed to forgive myself for them and try to move on.

esther, I hope that many, many young people read this. Your "Eureka" moment yesterday must have been amazing; I hope it has helped you. xox

Twenty years ago I was a stay at home mom to my two boys.my youngest was a baby ( he turned 20 in June ) and my oldest was 6 years old.

I would tell myself to live each day the best you can and not to live with guilt and regret, because we can't go back and change the past. ( I am pretty much dittoing what Esther said ).

I was also watching football. SHOCKER. lol

TRIGGER warnings: If you hate sadness, turn away, now.

20 years ago is such a hard place for me to go back to. But I'll try.

I was back in touch with the LOML, someone I'd known since childhood, and had surprisingly happy and regular reunions with, over the years. He was insisting I move out West to live with him; we were FINALLY going to get our chance to be together, forever, just like in one of those love songs...I was so alive, ao excited, so happy...I had been making good money, and I was free!...

It became clear, however, after a few visits, and some unsettling revelations about his true lifestyle (free love with the scariest skanks I've ever seen in my life, tons of hard drugs, and absolutely no other ambitions in life except to get high all the time), it was clear this was NOT the person I thought I knew. Nothing there for me. I was crushed by the deceptions he'd kept up for so long.

What hurt so bad was walking away. I knew I couldn't help him; he said he wanted me forever, but he didn't mean it. It had been one long glorious delusion for him, from beginning to end.

Absolute heartbreak. Not to mention the harrowing long waits for answers for all my blood tests---what an agony or worry I went through, and how furious I was with him.

Careerwise, I'd found what I thought was a living that could save me---something creative, that I was very good at. But the owner of the business had other plans for me and my feeling of safety.

He xeroxed my sketchbooks while I was out of town on a trip FOR HIM, the skunk.

He started producing MY stuff, behind my back, and schemed to get rid of me. He'd made thousands of $$ off MY WORK, and was being hailed as a creative genius by the time it was all uncovered (of course, taking all the credit). Then, he simply stopped talking to me. I left there, confused and dismayed. It hadn't been the most awesome money I had ever made, but it suited me to a T.

I found out later that Summer what had been happening. More devastation, leading to a complete distrust of anyone afterwards, and more pain.

THEN, my stepmonster decided that was the year she'd stop playing nice with me; she knew she had my Dad where she wanted him, so why be nice, anymore? She began the long slow process of coming in between us, something she never backed-off of doing, much to the detriment of my relationship with him.

She destroyed so much. It was purely medieval behaviour, and still hurts, so deeply.

20 years ago? That was when I stopped being a young adult, and turned into a jaded old crone, probably forever.

A terrible time.

What I would tell my younger self?

People are basically shits.

Move back to Greece, and raise chickens.

After reading what Skies on Fire went through, I don't even give a crap what I was doing 20 years ago. My heart hurts right now.

20 years ago I was celebrating my 1st wedding anniversary. Still struggling with depression and feeling bad about myself.