Depression Support Group

Hi...I'm here because...well, because I need to put my feelings into words. Here's my story...
I am now a single mother of a 14 year old daughter, who has been diagnosed with depression and anxiety. I've seen these get worse and worse as she's become a teen. Her father has been out of the picture since she was 2 years old. We have no idea where he is.
I was married (and still am legally) to a wonderful man for the last 8 years. My best friend. He tried very hard to step into the role of dad for her. For a few years, it worked. Then she started having behavioral issues, and they fought constantly. As she got into Jr High, she became almost uncontrolable. She got to where she refused to go to school, and a truency case was opened against her. Long story short, on March 27 of this year, my husband told me he couldn't take it anymore. He said he didn't know how to deal with her. Neither did I. And I guess my biggest mistake was letting it get to that point. He told me that when school was over, he was leaving, or that I would need to leave.
A few days later, on April 2nd, my daughter tried to commit suicide. She was admitted to a mental hospital for 19 days. During that time, I stayed with my mother so I could be close to my daughter. My husband was completely shut off to me then. I needed him, and he turned away. The day she was admitted, he was out golfing. It was the hardest 19 days of my life, at least to that point. I found out that my daughter was being severely bullied at school, had been sexually active with a boy, and he spread it around. Kids at school, and even a couple teachers had been calling her a slut. All this came out while she was in treatment. I had no idea, and she never told me. It seemed like the only solution was to get out of town. Let her start over somewhere new. So that's what we did. We moved quickly, on May 11th. A new start for both of us...
And I'm miserable. I left with nothing, not even a vehicle. Very little money. No one to help me. I was able to get a job quickly, and found a house to rent where the landlord let me move in without anything down. A friend sold me his spare vehicle for little of nothing. I'm making ends meet, and my daughter is doing great with the help of medication and weekly counseling. But I'm falling apart.
I miss my husband terribly, and I'm all alone here. I talk to him as much as I can, and though he says he doesn't want to sign divorce papers, he hasn't said he wants to work things out either. I work night shift, so I sleep most day, when I am awake, I'm cooking, cleaning, and trying to spend time with my daughter. When I'm alone, all I do is cry. I'm 200 miles from any of my family or friends. When I do talk to them, they tell me to just keep plugging along. The problem is, they can't tell me how to do that!
I have to be strong for my daughter, that much I know. But who is going to be strong for me?
Thanks for taking the time to read this...and thanks in advance for any words of advice.
Posted on 08/17/12, 08:32 am