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Frustrated with online dating
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I am having such a hard time with online dating and am so frustrated! Since I got dumped a month ago I've been trying to write to new men, but keep meeting wierdos and jerks. I seem to have to write to 6 to 10 men before I even get a response. Many just igonore my introductory email. It could be that I'm not hot enough for these men, or they don't like something I said in my profile., Who knows? All I know is that this is very hard. I'm in my late 50's and was writing one man my same age, but then he started spouting off about he shouldn't have to date a woman in her 40's - that he thought he was still young enough to attract a younger women. This man was overweight, not good looking, and in his late 50's. I thought "have you looked in the mirrow lately". He said a bunch of other anti-female things, and I said "good-bye" to this jerk! Other men start calling me baby and darling right away and signing their emails "xoxo's" - they seem so insincere. I mean, come on it takes time to get to know someone - I'm not someone's baby after one or two emails!
It's getting harder and harder to keep trying - to keep reaching out. I get all depressed and think, "what's the point", I'll just either get rejected or meet a wierdo. Then I try to stop that stinking thinking, and be more positive. to beleive that I deserve good things and that there is a good man out there who wants me as much as I want him. But I am getting so discouraged and impatient right now! Then I decided to put less emphasis on online dating and to put up posters for Activity Parnters in my area for hiking and kayaking, plus on Craig's List. Well the first 2 men who responded stood me up! This just isn't easy at all. I am so damn lonely. I also am taking a ballroom dance class, but haven't made any friends there, let alone a date. I also take art classes, but usually just meet other women. I am a more quiet, reserved person, so making friends doesn't come easy for me. I keep trying, but I am not getting rewardded yet by the Universe. All I keep getting is rejection or wierdos! Anybody else trying to do this online dating thing? Any support or suggestions? thanks. Posted on 07/19/12, 01:32 am |
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I would like to start off with that I am a month shy of turning 18, and I have never dated anyone nor am I interested in being in a relationship.
Anyway, I don't think I need a man to be happy or complete. That's just me. I do realize that relationships can be a very fulfilling part of people's lives. I imagine that you feel really horrible right especially if you were really attached to the guy and/or you were in a long term relationship. I do wonder how a relationship usually works with a rebound? Also, I don't think you should settle. I would think you'd want a relationship to last and you wouldn't want to be betrayed by a man. You said all of the men online didn't...seem too good. I don't think too highly of dating websites and I doubt their success rates. I imagine meeting someone in real life would be a lot better, especially when people aren't hiding behind their computers. You should get into an activity that men are also interested in. Then, you'd share an interest. You said they real life also didn't work out well, but I think you still shouldn't give up. You should also present yourself well to men, be confident, comfortable with yourself, appropriate body language, there are plenty of articles on the internet regarding this) Also, do not respond to any messages on DailyStrength where people ask for personal information and want to date you. They scam people and will take your money. (I'm sure you know that already). But, do not delete the message and report them to DS immediately. Hope you'll be at peace, Hugs 
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Yes, I've tried online dating and found it wasn't working either. I would send happy upbeat introductory messages and have been flatout ignored by the guys. I find that they are looking for women 20 years their junior whereas I have been trying to find someone my age. They ignore me because I'm not a 20yr old wanting to date a 45 yr old.
I got depressed (even more, haha!!) and closed my accounts. I have made peace with the fact that I am alone and perhaps those guys should be thanking their lucky stars (because I'm pretty messed up and wouldn't be in a good frame of mind entering into a new relationship). I am still hung up over a guy and until I have moved on in my heart I will not be ready for a relationship. It isn't easy, I can take years to really get back into myself before I find I'm ready for a relationship. Unfortunately I cannot offer much advice except that you seem to be doing the right thing by not giving up and going to activities to meet other people. It is alright to be alone too, be comfortable with yourself and allow happiness in by just doing those activities for their own sake. I don't know if I have expressed myself very clearly, sorry. I wish you peace in your heart and self
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End your next email to one of the jerks saying you are a cougar and really prefer younger men. Maybe they will see how it feels. Don't men see how stupid it is. If he is fat and ugly, he must have moeny and sure what younger women wouldn't help him burn through it? lol
As for the honey and darlings...start talking about marriage? Maybe they will see what it means to move to fast. I hope you find who you are looking for. Good luck to you! Your other activities sound wonderful. I wish I could even draw a straight line. My brother is an artist though. Again, good luck to you.
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Reading the post make you think? Why is it so hard for a good women to meet a good men, now in days if one is lucky to find a good person in which to spend time with💏 it would be great. But things are not always so easy. Just give your self some time and will will find a person you can be with and get to know each other better. Do not think that you will find some one fast, in time you will find a person who wants to be with you for who you are, not for what you have or for your looks🌹
Good luck
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I've done the online dating. I've met several jerks, and also found a lot of the men on these sites are just out for one thing.
I did meet my boyfriend on a online dating site, we've been together for two years now. I have a neighbor who met her husband online as well. Are you just on the one site? Maybe try a different one. Some sites are free, and others you can only access part of them unless you pay the membership. So I would suggest trying the free portion or trial period before you submit a payment.
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I am on OKCupid, POF, and eHarmony. One friend of mine just met her soul mate thru online dating and they are planning on starting a family, so I know it happens. They both are in Al-anon, have depression and issues, but since they are in Recovery, they support one another and can be totally themselves with each other. They lucked out!
I lack patience right now. I live in such a small town that has very little in the way of activities and available people. Just as an example, tonight there was supposed to be this Ecstatic Dance held in the grange, but no body showed up - not even the organizers! I get disappointed all the time, because there is so little happening. The thought of selling or renting my home so that I can re-locate is daunting, and with my depression, I just haven't taken any action on that, but something tells me I need to. It is too hard to get a "life" here. Well, I know you take yourself with you where ever you go, so moving to a larger city won't be perfect, but there would be more opportunities to make friends and to date. Really need to get my mojo going so that I can make this happen, and stop complaining so much about my life! Sorry for the venting. Just frustrated right now.
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i have tried the whole online dating scene and i have failed as well so i just stopped the madness because it was just flat out pissing me off. to be honest coming from a mans point of view, i feel as if there are really no good women left out there. the young ones want some hot/rich guy and the older ones want some hot/rich guy. i have pretty much given up on meeting anyone because i am tired of wasting my time asking someone out just to have them blow me off. i feel as if i am being punished by god because i was such a douche bag in my younger years. so now i will just be lonely and miserable until the day i die. having social phobia puts a serious cramp in meeting people because i am scared shitless to even approach anyone just to say help. having low self esteem doesnt change things either for me, so i am a ball of issues so who would want someone like myself? this subject strikes a nerve in me like no other and every time there is a discussion about this i get angry/depressed and want to vent.
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Keepitsimple, I have social anxiety as well as depression, so I can relate. It is harder for people like us to even make new friends - let alone date. Well, if it's any comfort to you, Keepitsimple, not all women want rich, hot men. Many women have careers and their own source of financial independence. I know for myself, I don't need a man financially. But I can relate to your anger and frustration, because that is exactly how I am feeling right now! Maybe we can encourage each other?
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