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Depressed and no one to talk to
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Hi all. I have been super depressed the last few weeks and have been going out of my mind. I don't think I have ever been this depressed before...which is saying a lot because my mother passed away years ago and I've had bouts with depression.
Anyway, I believe my depression is stemming from a surgery I had several weeks ago. It was a pretty minor surgery, but it was done to determine if I already had or could be developing cancer. The surgery actually went very well. I still haven't received the results but the surgery itself did not have any complications and I had a relatively pain-free recovery. Nonetheless, it is still pretty crazy to think about...I am only 26 years old and already having discussion with my doctor about cancer!? During this time, my boyfriend has been wonderful. He was there with me in the hospital, took care of me during my recovery, and has been my only support system these last few weeks. I am super grateful to him, but I fear I am relying on him too much and it's making me more depressed. He has A LOT of friends; he's a very social person...basically he has people there for him, people that care about him, etc. I guess that makes it sound like it's a competition but it's awkward for me, because I only have HIM. He's this social, life-of-the-party guy, then there's me. It seems like all my friends have abandoned me in the weeks leading up to and following my surgery and my subsequent depression. Many friends have simply stopped inviting me or contacting me; others have invited me but to events that I cannot participate in due to my post-op condition. Whenever I have felt up to do something, everyone says they are busy. Before all of my health issues, I was a fairly social person (though initially I am super shy around people, making it difficult to find/make new friends)...I can't believe people have turned their back on me in a matter of a few weeks. I enjoy spending time with my boyfriend, but never wanted him to be my only source of a social life. I have never felt so lonely/abandoned in my life. I was depressed enough with my condition and my recovery prohibiting a lot of my normal daily activity, but everything just seems ten times worse. It's hard to have fun with anything anymore...I just feel lost and alone. Posted on 07/11/12, 07:09 pm |
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All I can say is that if your friends abandoned you that easily, then they were not true friends. And as far as your b.f. goes, he sounds like a wonderful man and I would hang on tight, just not too tight if you know what I mean. You are very lucky there. Let us know the results if you don't mind, okay? 
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I agree with GBear...those were not true friends in the first place. Could you slowly begin to make some of your bf's friends your friends? I know that can be awkward, but it can be done, too, I've done it. Very happy that you have him to help you through this...says a lot about his character :) I hope you can make some new, real friends soon.
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I guess I agree as well. I just don't know how to find "real friends". When I am depressed I just want to be alone and people don't exactly flock to me. You are not alone...others are going through the same thing. All I can hang on to is that I have been through this before and I am still here. I am not religious but I do believe God only gives you what you can handle...
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Don't feel like you are a burden to your boyfriend. He seems like he genuinely cares for you, and even though he might have tons of friends, you cannot deny that you are a top priority. You should not feel guilty for having a person that loves you! And as for your "friends", it's hard to believe that they would not be there for you after your surgery. Those don't seem like very good friends. Surround yourself with people that love you and have a positive effect on you. I wish you the best.
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I work with cancer patients daily...and something that no one wants to deal with is the big c. They don't know what to say, they don't want to realize their own mortality, they are just as lost as we are sometimes. They may have distanced themselves for these reasons or they may just not have been true friends. You will make wonderful friends that deserve your friendship and caring,but it just may take some time. For now, just lean on your boyfriend-he sounds wonderful...and you don't have to lean forever, just until life gets a little more balanced. He is staying because he needs you too, so I hope things go well for you and please let us know if you need anything.
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