Depression Support Group

Hi folks. It's me. 4. NO I'M NOT COMING BACK. .... YET.  I just wanted to open this post because I was alerted to the post that smuggers opened 4 me last week and I have some things to say.  You may not want to hear them all so here is fair warning. 


 THE GOOD STUFF

 1. Thank you to those that responded. There were some kind words written and they were appreciated.


 2. I'm sorry I upset you smuggers. I was upset about a number of things the day I closed my account. I should have known better. But when you are depressed you don't see things clearly. Please don't be mad at me.


 3. I'm sorry to those that felt I just ducked out and ran. I DID send the message to my friends. Hell I forgot what it said now. But it's not my fault you didn't get it.

 4. I was lied to by someone I trusted here and I had to get away. I tried to defriend but that just didn't work for me. So I HAD to delete my account. It was the only way for me to handle it. Until such time as I can really deep down forgive (and I will...it will just take me some time) I need space. Couldn't stand to see that avatar!

 5. I was spending WAY too much time here. Not enough time in the real world. I miss you guys terribly. Maybe I will be back later. At this point I don't know.

 6. My new job starts April 23rd. It will be a Monday thru Friday 8-4:30 job so I won't have much time to be here anyway.


 7. I had a real life issue I was dealing with that day and to tell you the truth I wanted to cut ties with almost everyone in the world. Some PERMANENTLY! Then I was low anyway and started thinking (with my depressed brain) about all the things that had bothered me here, plus the person I was defriending and I figured I might as well leave here too.

 8. When I joined this site I only had two rules I made for myself: not to upset MY mental balance and not to upset ANYONE ELSE'S mental balance. I think I broke both of those rules. That means FOR ME, time for adios muchachos. At least for now.


 NOW...... TO THE REAL HEAVY STUFF. WHILE I'M EMPTYING I MIGHT AS WELL GET IT ALL OUT. I'M NOT ONE TO HOLD IT IN.


 1. There is so much fucking drama on this site it is ridiculous. I try not to get sucked in. It's not good for me emotionally.


 2. I see YOU people getting sucked in to what I see is just a load of shit and I want to scream.


 3.  I usually see people for what they really are. I've been fooled. But if you can't forgive someone when they make a mistake then you are not much of a person in my book. And I've seen THIS on the board here too. Someone here did that to me. People still look up to this person like they are wonderful yet this person ignores me like I have the plague. Even after I explained what happened. And it wasn't even that big of a deal. And if you are reading this Gidget NO IT IS NOT YOU. :-)
 

 SO....... If you've read ALL of this and still want to be my friend, when I am in a state of mind that I can come back, then alrighty then. I've probably made more enemies than friends with this post. But then again I've never tried to be anything other than who I am. You either like me or you don't. I'm a good person and I will defend my friends til the bitter end. And to the one that lied to me? I'm working on that. I won't be upset forever. As far as trusting you? That's a whole nother ball game. Once the trust is gone there is a bridge that is in need of serious repair and it takes TWO to repair it. Not sure you are up for the manual labor. Or even want to for that matter. 


Lastly, I miss you guys more than you know.

4 
Posted on 04/14/12, 10:55 pm