Depression Support Group

Well said Deputy.

first of all Happy Birthday!!!

and secondly....."oh shit, i'm really in trouble...i just turned 50"

honey, i'm not making light of what you are feeling, but REALLY???
I would LOVE to know what i know now and be 24 again!!!!!

Thanks for the encouragement. It's not that I think all opportunities at happiness are gone after a certain age, it's just that I feel like I have not developed my personality and pursued my interests the way most people seem to have already done by 24. So I feel like I am behind.

you are how you feel. my mom is 63 years old but she is like she in her 40's. note i didn't say act. because she not acting like she is younger, thats how she generally feel. it don't matter the age its how you feel there are men and or women who are in their 30's but either act like their in their 20's or that's truly how they feel, they don't let their age get them down. i have a friend who will be 40 this year but she does not look her age or act like or feel like it. age is a state of mind. you are still young and have yet to live, enjoy your youth.

btw not all people experience life at the same pace, their are things in life you may never experience until later in life. you need to stop worrying about that and be grateful for the life you have, and make the best of it. whatever is meant to happen will happen naturally at its own pace, whatever and/or whenever that may be.

Ameer you don't seem like a bad guy. Yet you crap on every suggestion that things aren't as horrible as you seem to believe they are.

I can only say...dig deep in therapy. Really deep. There's a reason you feel this way, and it's apparently something we can't get to on here. Not that we don't want to try, or won't keep trying. But the more you post, the more it sounds to me like this is something that might take painful, dedicated DIGGING to root out of your brain.

You know, there's nothing wrong with feeling younger than you are.

I'm sorry, but I just still can't shake this feeling that I'm losing something that I never got to enjoy and that I should be really ashamed of that.

Yeah there probably is something deeper involved. I've always been depressed by change and I have always been worried about aging. When I was 12-13 I dreaded moving on to being a "teenager" and still wanted to be a kid. I wasn't into the stuff teenagers were into like dating and stuff like that, and found myself wanting to fit in with younger kids.

the problem is, the damn counseling center is taking forever and not giving me the help I need NOW. I can't help but be really angry with them.

I think you enjoy being miserable. You have to be getting something out of it to cling to it so fiercely. If you are miserable, you have an excuse not to do anything at all. After all, you are miserable, right?
You are on an endless merrygoround of self-pity. I feel for you. I really do. Reading your posts wears me out. I can't even imagine how exhausted you must be, wearing yourself the hell out day in and day out. But then again, that serves a purpose because you can spend all your time focusing on how unhappy you are, rather than taking risks and stepping outside the walls of forums and endless questions and actually engaging in life.
I honestly don't know why I am replying again, as it only gives you more fuel to use for your fodder and that seems to be the only thing you want from us here. Fuel for your flames of woe.
You will remain in my prayers.

No, I don't enjoy being miserable. But this is how I feel and nothing that anyone says to me seems to be making things better other than temporarily.