What is Depression
Clinical depression is a state of sadness or melancholia that has advanced to the point of being disruptive to an individual's social functioning and/or activities of daily living....
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I can not deal with this on my own
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I am in the grips of my depression yet again. I have been fighting to deal with it every day this week and I feel so tired. I keep trying to write a letter to my CPN to let him know how I feel but when I do, there is nothing there. Last night I got so upset that I went to bed as soon as I got my children to sleep. I took a sleeping pill as I knew that would be best for everyone. I can not take a sleeping pill tonight to wish the day away as my husband is on a business trip and I worry that I will not wake if my children need me.
I have two great children, so why do I keep letting this depression take hold? The way I feel now is not the real me. I do not want to be someone who has depression for years and years. My youngest son drew a picture of me last night and he put a sad face on it saying mummy is sad. I do not want my children to think that of me. I work hard to protect them from this but obviously not hard enough. I grew up with a depressed mother. I do not want my kids to see that in me. I can not let that happen. I need to do something about this now before it goes any further. My husband is away and wants to me to wait for him to be home before I see my doctor about how I am feeling. I am not sure if I can. One thing I have come to realise is that I can not deal with my depression alone. Posted on 11/05/09, 06:11 pm |
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How long will he be gone?
You have sleeping pills--are you on any other meds? If you are, you may just need a higher dose. I hope you will contact your CPN as soon as possible. Hopefully, your husband understands how low you are. If he's like mine, I have to spell it out for him. He tries to understand. 
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My husband only works away from home 1,2 or 3 nights a week, either here in the UK or in France. I am not on any meds at the moment. The sleeping pills are ones that I had on prescription months ago. I kept some back so no one knows I have them, not even my husband.
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I really hope you can reach out to your cpn. You don't have to have the perfect words, just start by telling him what you said here. Then from there just try to be as open and honest as you can. It sounds like your kids are your priority, try your best to do it for them.
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well what u can do is allow us here at DS to help till your husband gets homa an u go to a doctor.
i am not on meds either i am an a waiting list 4 theropy though and i have found bein on here a real help. good lick to u am here if u need me.
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Is there someone out there who can chat w/me for a while? I am feeling depressed and alone today and need someone to talk to. No family and noone here to chat with.
thanks and hope to hear from someone real soon. Pam
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it IS very tiring to fight depression. it simply can't be fought alone, as you said yourself.
you need help i.e doctors and shit and i REALLY DON'T think you should delay that any longer - even though your husband wants you to wait for him to be home, becuase putting it off is just NOT a good idea.... seriously...anything could happen if your mood/state of mind gets bad enough... its good you have your children to live for. it must be a great motivator. your son drew a sad face on you, well that is okay - children need to learn that their parents and all adults aren't perfect and aren't always happy and fine. they have problems, worries, illness, etc too. making them believe you are perfect is NOT going to be healthier than letting them see your weaknesses!!! i think its good your children are growing up with a REAL mother, not one who is a complete fake. dont fake. it will give them false ideals. they need to learn its ok to be sad. its ok to have problems and bad shit in life. GO to the doctor. do it. dont let it get worse. with respect to your husband - he clearly doesn't realise how serious depression etc is or else he wouldnt be so selfish as to try make you wait for HIM to get home before you get the help you need. (hope you dont take that in a bad way) HUGS xx
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I agree you should not wait. Why does your husband want you to? I know how you feel about not knowing what to say. Sometimes when you are depressed you are crippled by sadness and it's hard to really explain what that feels like to someone else. I hope you keep posting here and know you are not alone.
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