Depression Support Group

For over 17yrs now i have had to live with severe acute chronic pain,i have been on all sort,s of meds for it and now after almost 3yrs i have been let down yet again by the very profesion that is suppost to help me,i am under a pain management team and it was the consultant who first told me i think you should be fitted with a painpump,i asked what he meant he then went on to explain that because my morphine isn,t enough to get me through a whole 4hrs that in his opinion if i were given a painpump it would give me my morphine little and often thus insuring that i wouldn,t have to clock watch for my next dose of morphine,thats when the trouble started! my pain doctor told me i will send you to another doctor who can help you with this pump and if there is anything else i can do please tell him i said to contact me.

Well i went to see this other surgeon who examined me and told me you are an ideal candidate for the pump all we need is someone to do your refill,s,i came away happy that at last i had a bit of hope,i should have known better! i have also been on amitriptyline 150mg 3 x day as well as morphine for my pain and other drugs for my other medical problem,s because of my pain i am very depressed and very fed up with being messed about by the so called doctors,within a week of seeing the surgeon,my husband of 25+yrs told me he was leaving me he,d also had enough of my problem,s when the truth was he had met another woman who could give him more than i could, i.e sex,if that wasen,t enough i recieved a letter from my pain doctor telling me he couldn,t help me,to say i was upset well lets just say i was pretty devastated sadly things have gone from bad to worse,right now after writing to all the doctors concerned as well as all the health care authority,s i,m still no futher on with this goal to get the pump,i no longer see the point in even waking up in the mornings,whats the point the measley few hours sleep i do have, mean i can,t even go out and enjoy myself because i am constantly exhausted because of pain and lack of sleep,so i keep thinking how much more can i go on like this before i call it a day? my answer is stop the meds and pray the withdrawel will kill me because i can,t get any lower than i am right now,i live in the u.k and i don,t trust doctors who claim they wanna help me cuz they don,t!
Posted on 07/05/09, 04:07 am