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I still think about killing myself everyday
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I wake up wishing I didn't. I have no real reason for feeling or thinking the way I do. I hate myself and my thoughts. I have so much stress and pain. I have seen so many therapists and doctors and nothing has helped. I want to be "NORMAL". Why do I want to kill myself and why is it an everyday sometimes every hour or minute thing? I feel like I have no purpose. The only reason I don't kill myself is guilt. I have guilt just feeling this way. What can I do?????
Posted on 06/25/09, 02:17 am
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Reply #1 - 06/25/09  3:05am
" Hi Annie,

I know exactly how you feel. I went through a period of just wanted it all to end. I never went to doctors or any professional but after a bad attempt at ending it all I just sorta snapped out of it. The link below tells my story.

Can I ask if their is any particular reason for you feeling this way? Was there something that happened in your past?

Either way just hang in there, if you can make it through one day, then you can make it through one week, one month and so on... And maybe one the feelings and thoughts will just be gone, like what happened to me.

Hang in there hon
Pat "
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Reply #2 - 06/29/09  6:56am
" has something happened to trigger this feeling what ever you do suicide is not the way out i know i have been there. i have found the suicide hotlines are very helpful and understanding people. call them "
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Reply #3 - 06/29/09  5:13pm
" It's hard when you have these thoughts, I have had them as well. for me there was always something that was triggering it, like a loss. Has anything happened in your life that has triggered it, or have these thoughts always been there? I'm sorry that counseling isn't working for you, have you tried going on medication? or maybe try another therapist or group therapy?

For me these thoughts lasted everyday for about a year, and there were several nights where i just wanted to give up. i would tell myself i can make it through another day, took one day at a time. but u can't listen to the thoughts. There are people in your life that care about you. maybe u can try writing in a journal that can help you release your pain. finding something to distract helps too, like listening to music or going for a walk. "
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Reply #4 - 07/05/09  1:08pm
" I do understand (If you're feeling it) that unbearable and hopeless feeling, I get it a lot.
One thing I'm doing now is taking time to consistently pray about the many issues in my life: people I felt hurt by, how to act positively with my wife, and children also asking God for help solving seemingly intractable issues that I just can't seem to solve with my brain or any amount of counseling. This is helping me bit by bit.
Although counselors are and continue to be a life and death valuable resource for me, sometimes you have to "know" it yourself. You have to be consistent though to feel an answer from God, because He's consistent and we're not. We (Myself!) tend to focus on the negative, while He's always positive. Pray for at a week, month or longer to feel some intuitive help.
I really hope the best for you! "

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