Dementia Support Group

Get some help hon, you can't fix this without it. Call your social services (I am in Canada) so your system is different but they can help you. There are treatments that make symptoms better, my mom won't take them but maybe your parents will.
also, get the book "the 36 hour day" It will help you deal with it.
Hugs to you,
Terry

I am so sorry to hear of this. How horrible for you all!

Terry is right about the book "The 36 Hour Day" (Nancy L Mace & Peter V Rabins) ... they offer a lot of validation & coping tools. Also, Alzheimer Association might be able to offer some telephone support and answer questions. Here's what the book says about not recognizing someone:

Page 276: Failure to Recognize People or Things (Agnosia) // "You Are Not My Husband" :

"The brain is not able to put together information properly. This is called "agnosia," from the Latin words meaning " to not know." It can be a baffling symptom.

Mrs. Kravitz said to her husband, "Who are you? What are you doing in my house?"

This is not a problem of memory. Mrs. Kravitz had not forgotten her husband; in fact, she remembered him quite well, but her brain could not figure out who he was from what her eyes saw.

...... Reassure the person, "I am your husband," but avoid arguing. Although this may seem heartbreaking, it is important for you to reassure yourself that it is not rejection of you (the person DOES remember you). It is just an inexplicable confusion of the damaged brain."

That's it on that particular subject. In general, the idea is to reassure the person, try not to get into arguments, perhaps show them pictures or family albums, if they don't seem to recall. See if they can tell stories about their beloved husband or family. The book suggests these ideas as well.

I hope that this is a passing phase and that she will recognize him more fully. It is very difficult to not take these things personally. After all, we're essentially losing our loved one to something we cannot comprehend.

I feel terrible for your Dad, too. I'm sure he needs some reassuring and loving support from you all. I'm glad he is able to bring her to visit with you each night, to help her de-escalate.

((HUGS))

I am so sorry, this is so sad. Huge hugs to you.

I am so sorry that you are going through this. My husband is 66 years old and has dementia. This past few weeks his brother visited us and he did not know who he was. Also, just this past week he knew who I was but did not know I was his wife. We have been married for 42 years. The 36 Hour Day helps but it is heartbreaking. Good advice not to argue. Hang in there.