Dementia Support Group

So sorry to hear this. You worked to create a better situation for your mom so she was closer to you. Remember that it is her condition that is making her like this and not anything you did. Maybe all you can do is be patient. Try just listening to her and asking her questions and try not to explain or defend anything, I find that helps with my mom. Remember you are a good person and your are doing what you can. Good luck to you.

I know it is hard to remember, but this is not your "mother" talking. It is the disease. Please try not to take it so hard. I'm sure in time, Mom will get used to her new surroundings and will come to terms. Any changes are very traumatic and they need time to adjust.

Please keep us updated and feel free to vent anytime.

Lisa

Thanks I appreciate the kind words, it's a very hard disease to handle and go through, hopefully she will forget this episode and we will be able to just go on from there.

Ioveyors, I know exactly what you are going through. I am an only child. And when my mother got sick I did not know what was wrong with her. I thought that she had lost her mind. She started having hallucinations, delusions, she was violent and aggressive, her personality changed, she seemed to have different personalities, and the only thing that I could think of was that she was mentally ill. To make a long story short, I had her committed to a mental hospital. It was only going to be for a brief time. Only until they could find out what was wrong. But she was so angry at me for putting her in "the nut house" that when I went to visit her she told me that I was no longer her daughter and that she never wanted to see me again. I sat in the car in the parking lot and just cried. I had only wanted to do what was best for her. She didn't understand that she was sick, and I did the only thing I knew to do.

Since she did not want to see me I stayed away, but I called the hospital everyday to ask the nurses how she was doing. Sometimes they would put her on the phone. Her attitude was cold but at least she would talk to me if only to chew me out. After the doctors ran some tests they found that she was not "crazy" but that she had dementia. They moved her out of the psych ward and into the regular hospital ward. When I started visiting her again after she reluctanly said I could, she slowly began to come around. She realized that she was all alone in that place and that as her only child I was all she had. When it came down to it, she valued our relationship too much to throw it away. Today, she has pretty much gotten over it, and things are back to normal between us.

Give your mother some time. If she doesn't want you to visit right now don't force it, but stay in touch. Call the nursing home everyday. Even if she won't talk to you she'll know that you are thinking about her. I think she'll eventually come around she just needs time to get over her anger and sort out her feelings. And when she's ready to see you, she'll let you know.

I hope this helps, loveyorks. Hang in there and stay strong.