What is Dementia
Dementia is the progressive decline in cognitive function due to damage or disease in the brain beyond what might be expected from normal aging. Particularly affected areas may be ...
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I am new to this site, so firstly hey everyone. I am a caregiver to my mil. My husband,myself and our two daughters moved in with my mil when my fil was diagnosed with dementia and parkinson's. Sadly once he was diagnosed he went downhill very fast. Once he passed away, my mil was very depressed, and she was diagnosed with dementia. We moved back in about a year and a half ago. my husband has a sister who lives about 15 min away but she only comes over on friday's and will take her mom to the doctor or out for lunch. Which doesn't really give me much of a break, but this is just how things are...I can handle most of the day to day things that go on but my problem is, she has ALOT of accidents, this makes a mess on the carpet and I am constantly washing clothes,carpets and spraying air freshener because she will not bathe. Is there something I can do that will get her to shower or wash without the big fight that always follows when we ask her if she is going to bathe that day? Also should she be in a room that has the bathroom attached because she keeps flushing weird stuff down the toilet and it keeps stopping up? We are trying to do everything we can to keep her from going into a home but a little help would be nice. My fil was military but I do not know if their insurance will cover someone to come in and help out. Thanks for any help or suggestions!
Posted on 05/28/09, 10:05 am |
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Depending on your fil status you may be able to get respite care- check into it. VA.GOV is their website. My husband is eligible.
Awhile back we talked about this bathing thing and someone came up with the idea of sponge baths with baby wipes in between regular bathing so that might be an idea. I think for the toilet thing there is a child proof device that is used for children that you might use. 
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Thank you Deborah, I will look into the insurance and the other suggestions we will try out as well.
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There is a benefit for spouces of veterans called "Aid and Attendance". This is underutilized and a bit unknown to most. If you contact your local veterans hospital or administrative office they normally provide assistance in ensuring all benefits are provided. Paperwork is a burden and it can all take time, but it's worth looking into.
I have heard of some disabling the flush handle to control these issues (and allows you to track other issues..constipation, etc). Baby stores are great places to find safety devices and www.alzstore.com has some great items and ideas also. There are products made for bathing and shampoo wihtout having to rinse. They come in liquid form and wipes. "no rinse" is one brand. These work great in between the stuggle to get into a tub times. It's an overwhelming process and frightening to some at times and can be a challenge. I make it sort of a spa day thing...put on quiet music, get a basin of warm water and help my Dad clean up and it makes him feel so much better afterward. Would you be able to pull the carpet up and put down tile of some sort? It's easier to clean up and doesn't create the odor and germ issues of carpet when this starts. Not too expensive to do if you use a discount store and it's pretty easy to install. I'll keep trying to think of things to help. Welcome to a great group. I've learned so many things here and never feel there is a topic I can't ask about. We're all in this together and it really helps having others to talk to in similar situations.
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pounder- I like your idea of making it spa day, I'll have to remember that.
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Thanks Pounder, I will look into the Aid and Attendance and the tile idea is something that may work out well. The "spa day" is a great idea!
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