What is Dementia
Dementia is the progressive decline in cognitive function due to damage or disease in the brain beyond what might be expected from normal aging. Particularly affected areas may be ...
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My grandmother needs help but.....
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My grandmother needs help but only wants it on her terms. She has 7 children, I am her firt born grandchild. She requires 24-hour care but only wants to receive that care from her children. My grandmother still has a 1950s way of thinking of life, and work. She doesn't realize that her children and grandchildren have lives of their own and do not have the time to clean her house, take her to the doctor and provide for all of her emotional and her physical needs. It isn't possible or is it?
My grandmother was diagnosed with dementia two weeks ago and the doctor stated she needs 24 hr. care. She expects and wants her children at least one of them to stay with her at her home. She refuses to come and live with any of us. She doesn't want to live in an assisted living faciltiy. What are we supposed to do? She's not even open to hiring someone to come into the home to help her. She doesn't trust strangers, never has and now that she has dementia she is even more paranoid that her family and neighbors are trying to harm her. She doesn't believe she has dementia but I know that something is inherently wrong. I do not want to force a different lifestyle onto my grandmother but I am a witness to the fact that she is no longer able to stay by herself. It isn't safe for her. It is nearly about to drive me and my mother insane. Causing many of us depression, panic attacks, fights within the family, and guilt. Posted on 05/18/09, 04:05 pm |
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Right now I am working on getting a family friend assigned as my respite/alternate caregiver to my husband. Someone who is familiar. And they will get paid to do it.
Could you all make a schedule and designate certain days and times. Like Aunt has Monday afternoons, Cousin has Tuesday mornings, etc. Even though she won't like it, at least you won't have just one person with her all the time and that person won't get burned out. It isn't too bad looking after an angry person if you know when it is over. That way she has a family member there but one person isn't taking the whole load. 
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My Grandmom does not have dementia that bad, but the Dr. said they both have it. I can't stand the loud tv and the fact she won't wear a hearing aide so she can't hear me. So I start to yell and that upsets all of us. She needs insulin everyday and thinks she can give herself the needle. I have to go everyday and give her a needle. I have nobody in my family to help. I am 41 and the grandchild. I resent my Father so much I call him once in a while and scream at him which is useless. I feel alone and angry, resentful and scared.
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Have you tried the ALZ assoc Fauna?
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Alz Assoc will be a good place to start fro all types of dementia, not just Alz.
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I am so sorry your going though this. I am also having the same thing happen to me. In the begining when mom started into Dementia, she broke her arm. We didn't think she was going to make it she wanted her kids to be the ones to care for her. We started a schedule and it worked about a month, unit my sister decided to change it. It all went' down hill after that. Who was the one staying with her? You guessed it Me. Think our parents don't relize we have families as well and we are also needed at home. But when our parent grandparents don't relize we have families of our own we need to care for as well. Try your best to see if you can't find someone in the family to help. You can't be the one to do it yourself. Its hard, it wears you down. Please keep in touch. im here and I'm still going though this.
God Bless Terrie
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