What is Crohns Disease Ulcerative Colitis
Crohn's disease is a systemic inflammatory bowel disease (IBD) of unknown cause, that results in chronic inflammation of the intestinal tract. It can affect the entire gastrointest...
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Crohn's Disease vs Family Holiday Dinners
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I had a situation with my mother-in-law last Christmas which I am sure will come up again and again, and I don't know how to handle it. We have always gone to my husband's parent's house for the holiday, because his mother loves to cook. But since my son has been diagnosed with Crohn's he isn't able to enjoy meals like he used to. Last year, he said he would feel uncomfortable eating Christmas dinner, and then hurting while everyone opened their gifts, so I asked his grandmother if we could re-arrange the day. Gifts first, then dinner, so Dylan could lie down or go home if he needed to and not miss anything. SHE SAID NO. So we didn't go to dinner and just went by after everyone ate. My son barely had any time with his cousins.
My son's illness has cost, him a lot of friendships and social activities but his cousins spend weekends with us and they are all very close. I would make any concession I had to for the boys to see each other, and especially for them ALL to have a great holiday. She expects him to come to dinner and eat what he can. He just CAN'T or he will be in pain! I just don't know how to make my selfish mother-in-law realize that he is not trying to screw up HER HOLIDAY. I just want to scream "IT'S LIKE THIS EVERY DAY FOR HIM." What should I do this year? Boycott dinner again? They treated me like the villian last year for doing it. I cannot sit and eat that dinner while he is sitting right there and cannot enjoy it too. I would rather do something with my son that is NOT centered around food. I know my husband feels torn when this comes up because that is his family and his deaf father, who never knows what is going on, doesn't understand HOW sick Dylan is, I think. My husband tried to explain it all to his mother last year, but she downplays it to everyone... and although she lives ten minutes away, she NEVER calls my son to see what he's doing, or if he feels ok. If it were just me, I would never spend another holiday with them again, but I can't do that to my husband or my son or my nephews. On top of all that, my brother-in-law is dating some woman who really seems to hate me. She tries to bribe my nephews and hijack their weekends as a way to get my brother-in-law to change his Facebook status to Single. Any advice? (Can't afford to leave town or I would!) Posted on 10/28/09, 04:10 pm |
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One more thing, my Nan died believing I was spoilt and anorexic, so it doesn't always work out. I just wanted to put the other view for you.
Good luck. 
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It happened last year because that was the first year he expressed discomfort around the holiday meal. I expect it again because my mother-in-law is in denial that he is even sick, and the holidays are all about HER. She is retired and lives 10 minutes away. She never calls him or offers to visit... to her, if you are not EARNING MONEY, which is all that matters in this world and she has plenty, then you are worthless. She is my husband's son, but she isn't close to any of her grandchildren... and if they don't give her something to brag about she has no use for them.
And if I left it up to my son, he wouldn't see them at all.
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Oh dear, I'm sorry to hear all that. I pray it might improve for you.
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Well if your son doesnt want to see them, maybe start a new tradition and have christmas at your place. do something new?
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I keep the tradition for my husband and so my son can see his cousins. No one would make any effort to come see us on Christmas, as I tried this one Thanksgiving and no one wanted to deviate from the usual routine at all. It's like it doesn't matter to them. I have just tried to keep from isolating us from them totally, which they probably would not even notice.
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If it was me I would not go to her home I would cook a dinner for your son that he can handle with with stomach and make him a specical dessert that he loves.I would start my own traditions in my own home since she's not willing to compromise with your sons specical needs . I to have the same problems with my husbands family and they way they cook so I bring my own food to there events and bring extra cause most of the time they want to try out my food since its so diffrent from there's .I sometimes aslo invite the hubbys family over for the holidays and he helps me cook since its sometimes hard fro me to do with crohns since I get tired very easy . So I would just talk it over with your husband and your son and see if they want to start a new traditation this year by not going to the inlaws home for the holidays .
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