What is Congenital Heart Disease
Congenital heart disease is heart disease in the newborn, and includes congenital heart defects, congenital arrythmias, cardiomyopathies, and hypertrophic cardiomyopathy (HCM). Con...
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I have just found out that I have lived in heart failure all my life, to differing degrees. What has me perplexed/angry is that my parents never told me about my condition. I first found out at the age of 24 with a routined medical visit after I left my parents home through marriage. Now, at age 64. I have recently had a severe episode and continue to have a mother who won't talk a word about it.
Why did my parents handle this in the manner they did? I have a mother that lives in a state of denial, but my late father was an intelligent, fair person. Does anyone here understand this behavior? Do other parents maintain a silence on this issue? What gives? Posted on 10/04/09, 05:10 pm |
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My mom did the same thing. I had a murmur detected when I was 6 or 8 and didn't find out until I was in my 20's because I was wondering why I was having chest pain. I mentioned to my mom that I was going to a doctor about it and she said "oh yeah, you did have a murmur when you were younger." You know what my exact thoughts were "Thanks, dumbass! little late now" Pisses me off that I could have felt better throughout my childhood. 
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why did they do this to us?
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If you are now in you sixties, that puts your birth in the forties. They did not have aby of the open heart techniquest that we take for granted back then. The first open heart surgeries were done in the late sixties, early seventies.
Back then, attitudes toward people with "illnesses" was so different. Children with mild mental retardation were thrown into insane asylums, A child born with cerecral palsy was institutionalized and the doctor told you to forget they were ever born. My mom lost a baby with downs syndrome and everybody (but her and me) was happy. Even people with epilepsy and other disorders were ostracized. Personally, I think your mom may have been trying to protect you from other peoples attitudes. I am also sooooo very thankful that attitudes have changed. With my granddaughter, she will know that she has a "special heart" and that the scar from her surgeroes os a sign that her heart is very special. She will also be raised, as my children were, with people of different levels of abilities, strengths and weaknesses> She will need to manage her heart disease, and in order to do that, she needs to accept it. Love and blessings, Diane
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Our son is only 2 but we have talk to him about the fact he has a special heart. We explain things to him before seeing the doctors and we also explain things to his big sister who is three in the way that they can understand. I'm soory your parents never did this for you.
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Some people also beleive that if you don't talk about something, or think about it, I'll just go away.
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