Coming Out Support Group

I am 65 and a closetted bisexual. When I was in college, I made the mistake of hitting on someone I thought was a friend. Not only did he reject me, he told stories about me to our circle of friends. As a result, I have lived in fear of going back to my school and associating with my former group of college friends. So, in a sense that incident has ruined my life. It is very important that you be discreet in all your relationships. I personally do not think it is wise to make a big deal out of "coming out" at this stage of your life. I think you would be well advised to keep your cool, prepare well to support yourself in the future and try to avoid controversy. Don't do anything to throw fuel on the fire. Later, when you are on your own, and possibly moved away from where you live you can always "come out" if you want. I just think there is no great benefit to broadcasting your sexuality to the world, at least at this time in your life. I speak from experience because I lived in fear of being discovered all these years, even though I have not been actively bisexual. Good luck.

Hello. I am 25 years old and came out to my immediate family and close friends when I was 19. I won't lie and say it's easy but as you know, it is very difficult and can be hurtful to hear people's opinions and thoughts on your life. Please if there is one thing you can learn or listen from what I say: Jesus loves you for you. You are made in His image and those people who say you are going to hell are not living the true Christian life. Christians, if true and honest will only open their arms and show you love, as Christ did. I struggled my freshman year of college with a group of people on my campus in a highly religious Christian group. I was told daily I would burn in hell and that my sexuality was a sin. Through my years of looking at my self and God. I have come to realize, I am made in His image and God has always always wanted us to be loving. A true Christian is loving - those people around you are judging you, not loving you. Let God be the judge of who you are. And God is love. He made you to be a loving, caring individual. Did you ever think God would make you this way, so you can hate yourself and be teased by others around you? You are made in His image, please remember that. Counseling is a great tool that allows you to be open and honest with your thoughts and feelings.

I have Catholic grandparents and recently came out to them. It was a difficult letter to write but I wanted to tell them about my recent engagement to my beautiful fiance. They come from a different time and generation gap that made it ohh so difficult. Surprisingly, they wrote me back, saying (which was no surprise) That they would not be attending my wedding because their attendance would show their support and agreeing of my marriage. But, they want me to be happy and around those who love me, including my fiance. They wish me all the happiness in the world and still love me. Your family still loves you and it may suck for a while, but give them time to come to terms with your sexuality. It must of taken months/years to be okay with yourself - now give them their time to come to terms with it and be okay.

Is there any way you can move away from that area where you are surrounded by those religious figures. I am not saying abandon church or God by any means, just maybe away from them so they cannot bring you down anymore than you already are. If they could only walk in your shoes for a little while and see the difficulty in your coming out. Remember to take things one day at a time. I will add you as a friend. Write me anytime. I realize the difficulty of your situation. I've been there. I batttled with God and lost my faith for a while but remember God will always open his heart to you. Even in the darkness he is there....

Keep in touch. Chin up, girl!

Thanks for the support an advice! It helps a lot to know I'm not alone.

My son is gay, and we come from a very religious family. Your relationship with God is between you and God...nobody else!! You are still the same person you have always been. You keep praying and keep your relationship with Him. Don't let anyone change that for you. My son told me 1 1/2 months ago and I had no idea, to be honest. I love him unconditionally. He is scared to tell certain members of our family because of our religious beliefs.
I pray that you continue with your relationship with God. You are a beautiful person and I wish you the very best.
Hugs!

I'm in a similar situation, but I didn't figure out my sexuality until much older than you. You need a new church! There are some great materials out there, written by religious scholars like myself who are very positive on gay sexual identity. If you wish, I can send you some helpful and very supportive things!

I lived in a very small town growing up, was bullied, beat up, harassed, not only by fellow studends in school, but by teachers as well. I ended up moving to the city where I could be free of all that and eventually came out to my family. It was hard for them, but as I told my mother once that it was not as hard for them as it was for me. It took awhile but they love me unconditionally. I grew up a catholic and was banned from the church, of which I was glad as I was taught by those very priests that God loves unconditionally, so I had no need for their double standards.

You must remain true to yourself and surround yourself with positive people. If your gay friends are too shallow to be there for you while you are coming out then they are not your friends. This is the hardest time of a gay persons life and the transition from being in the closet to coming out should be supported by those who have done the same. Be strong,and be kind to yourself. The road will get less rocky for you I promise. Never forget what you were taught in your church, that God loves you for you. People can be ignorant and willingly stay blind to that which they can not understand. If they refuse to be open, then they are not worth the essence of you.

I understand where your coming from I came out to my family about 4 years ago. I had a lot of guilt because I thought to myself since I'm a woman I need to be with a man. well of course I fnally stopped living in fear and gult about my sexuality and stopped living for others. Just like someone else has said about this post is it's not easy but it's a so much better feeling being true to yourself even if people don't acept you because eventually you will see that if they can't acept you for being a lesbian then they really weren't your friends at all. As far as your family goes give them time they will come around trust me. Anytime you would like to chat just send me a message I'll be happy to chat with you.

Umm, hello. Seems I'm in a similar situation only flipped around, hehe. This is awkward for me, I've never done this before, given someone advice when I myself need so much seems like a bad idea. I just couldn't not respond reading how you said your church treated you. I'm New Apostolic and very active in my faith, I was thrilled when, in an interview, our Chief Apostle officially stated how our church firmly believes that being gay, lesbian or bisexual does not mean you're going to hell. The love of Jesus Christ is not restricted to straight people. If you don't want the words of hypocrites to keep you from Jesus, see if there is a New Apostolic church in your area. I promise you'll feel welcome.

My step father (who is like my real dad) is a pastor and my mother is very very religious. I have a brother thats gay, and she loves him but doesn't accept his lifestyle. I have been trying to come out to my mother for about a month or two and she changes the subject. I have come to the point now where I don't care what everyone says. I don't think you need to come out to every body, but if you want people to know just show your pride by wearing a rainbow. I know people at my college know I'm gay, but I don't really care. I was in the closet telling--and dating men--until one day I just couldn't take it anymore. I actually met this girl (she was in my class) and I had a crush on her, but I wasn't sure she was gay or not, but I still had these feelings for her. I have never approached her and I won't, but I told myself then, it's time to stop lying. Who cares if people don't like you. You will get stronger I promise, yes you will go through some things. But there is something about coming out that makes you stronger. I will keep you in my prayers!

I just want to say thanks to all who posted on this thread. I felt strengthened and comforted by your words. I know I'm not alone! Hugs!