What is Coming Out
"Coming out of the closet" describes the voluntary public announcement of one's (often homosexual or bisexual) sexual orientation, sexual attractions or gender identity. Being "out...
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How to accept sexualiy
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I am a 23 year old young woman. I am also been married to a man for a year now. i always knew i was a lesbian since I was 13. i just did not want to accept that. So I dated guys for some time and seen women in between. I was vaguely honest with my husband when we first met. I expressed that I like women and I want to see them but i didnt say I was mainly into women. He was okay with this but only if I could share her which i didnt like. I ended up pregnant 5 months into our relationship. We broke up for my entire pregnancy because he said he didnt want children and began to mistreat me.. Once the baby was born, we decided that we should work things out. 7 mohths later, we got married at justice of the peace.. and 20 days later i met my soulmate. the woman i have been look in for my whole life. i started to see her and date her. We became very serious. So serious that i contemplated leaving my husband. I soon decided against that because of my idea of marriage. I feel that once you marry sumone thats it.. you stick in there.. and work the problems out.. But our problem is.. I am a lesbian and i just can accept that. And if i do accept that I am a lesbian, i would then be afraid i will go to hell. My and my husband have broken up numerous times because of this woman. Me and my husband were in a financial bind with our living arrangements and she got an apartment for me and my kid. now im living with her. and my husband is back home with his parents. she helps me alot and accepts me as I am. She loves me for me. I have never felt this way about anotha person before. She said she was okay with me having a husband but i could tell she was accepting it only to keep me around and make me happy. I want to accept who i am but I am very afraid of goin to hell and im not sure how i could deal with this.
Posted on 11/05/09, 10:11 am |
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I am young and i may not totally understand i feel that she is the better choice. He seems to unstable to be with as a whole. It seems to me she is the one giving 100% toward you and the child not your "husband". This is my opinion 
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I totally sympathyze with how you are feeling. I'm currently in a marriage, I'm extremely unhappy because I am in love with a woman (not sure exactly how she feels about me). My husband contributes very little both financially and emotionally. I want a divorce, but can't bring up the courage to do anything about it, especially since my husband has issues with depression. But with your situation you actually have an active relationship with this woman, who sounds like she loves you. And the fact that your husband mistreated you in the past, it's likely he'll do it again, and it may get worse. Embrace the relationship with this woman is my opinion. I do not believe anyone is going to go to hell because they are gay. If you are good to people in general, and to your child that's what really counts. Not you sexual preference. That's just my belief despite what some "Church goers" say. You love who you love, and if two people love eachother and treat eachother right who cares if it is man, woman, woman-woman, whatever!
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Do what is going to make YOU happy! If you love this woman I say go for it. You only go around once in this lifetime and only you are in control of your destiny. You are also responsible for the welfare of your child.
I would get out of that marriage, it sounds like bad news, or at least seperate legally. Be true to yourself and don't live a life of "what if" or "I should have". You'll regret things and be miserable about them later. If she is truly your soul mate, which it sounds like you are very close already, then don't pass up this opportunity to be in a loving relationship. Those type of feelings don't come around often . Best of luck and take care.
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@ torm.. i understand completely.. my husband doesnt do anything for me financially and physicially anymore.. i guess my emotions are whats keepin me here and the fact that im afraid of hell.. i want to just be myself and love who i love without being judged for who i love.. i love this woman.. i love my son.. and with her i am happy and appreciated for who i am and what i do. and about your situation.. i would suggest to let her know and see what comes from it.. if you are unhappy in a marriage you go to all lengths necessary work it out.. if thats no success, you can leave and maybe the happiness can be found elsewhere..
@tim.. thanks for your kind words.. i wanna be true to myyself.. she is my soulmate.. and i suppose i must find a way to let go of my husband..
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I know it's hard living in a world where people judge you so harshly for just being in love with who THEY veiw is "wrong". I understand about being afraid of hell, I always have been too. But I just started to think, well God and Jesus are about love and forgiveness. I know quite a few gay people who are so nice, good people. I find it hard to believe that these people are going to hell just because they were gay.Anyway that's just what I think, and it has taken away a lot of fear and strengthened my faith.
As for my marriage, I feel I have exhausted ways of "fixing it." It's been 12 years, he's not changing, he's just getting worse, we've been in therapy, etc. I'm truly miserable. But at the same time I am terrified. I just never thought I would feel this way. Anyway thanks for your suggestion. I have considered it. I'm just afraid since we work together, I wouldn't want things to feel weird at work if things didn't go well. But you never know, I may feel gutsy one day. Best of luck to you, I'm sure you'll make the right decision, because it sounds like you've put a lot of thought into it. Just think of it this way, i'm sure you want your child to be happy. You need to be happy in order for your child to be happy also. take care.
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