Codependency Support Group

Hello everyone. I am having a rough time with excepting what seems to be a constant - never ending trigger. My husband is a non-active addict. Yet for the past several months I have been feeling like I felt when he was using. He started working the night shift. And although he is working and not getting high, I seem to keep holding this impending doom type of feeling in my chest and everyday that he leaves to go to work at night, I am somewhat angry with him that he is 'leaving me again'. We talk to each other a few times a night and I usually call to say goodnite before I go to bed - but I go to bed by myself just like I did when he was using and when he comes home at night I'm asleep but awakened when he comes through the bedroom door just like I was when he was using. My eyes instinctively hit the clock and I have to tell myself he's not coming home high anymore, he's coming home from work. He usually needs down time - I understand that - so he doesn't get right in the bed. By the time he does get in bed it's between 3 - 4am just like it was when he was using. I realize this is a problem for me - in so many ways. I've asked him if he could possible change to an earlier shift but that's not happening at this time. I realize my past with my husband was very traumatic and painful. So along with abandonment issues, depression and loneliness, and my struggle to be a co-dependent no more - I recognize this as post traumatic stress. This routine is a daily trigger for me and is currently dominating every ounce of my being. With all the other issues I am struggling with, this one seems the greatest. Any suggestions?
Posted on 11/06/09, 11:11 pm