What is Codependency
A "codependent" is loosely defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for other people's struggles.
Codependency advocates claim a codependent ...
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My husband is codependent.
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My husband has huge codependency issues. He said the reason why he got together with me and married my ass was so that he could "take care of me." I want to know more about what codependency actually is and why he tries to do do do for me then gets overloaded and crashes. He does this a lot. WHY does he do this? What makes a person become co dependent?
Posted on 11/05/09, 04:11 pm |
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Reason #1 is that we get so much ourselves from giving. Our own opinion of who we are and what we are capable of comes from us having set up a situation where we are needed or things will fall apart. It's not healthy when taken to this extreme. He likely really does love you and feels 'high' inside when he is able to give. Ideally you will find a balance where he still gets to do soemthing for you each and every day so that he knows he made you feel as important as he is; and you reciprocate
Again, try to setup a rule whereby each of you agrees to make the oter feel needed every day. There are 2 parts to this: 1) You have to do something for them, even if it is giving the best hug that you have inside you - you give all of yourself for one minute every day. 2) You allow or encourage your partner to also give. This is to try preventing one person from playing the martyr thereby preservign the balance in the relationship. Good luck 
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