What is Codependency
A "codependent" is loosely defined as someone who exhibits too much, and often inappropriate, caring for other people's struggles.
Codependency advocates claim a codependent ...
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I have a problem wanted to please people and not doing what I want to do, doe's anybody have this problem and if so what have they done to get better.
Posted on 11/05/09, 09:11 am |
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Mysteryman73,
I have struggled with this problem in the past until I took a look into myself to determine why I was doing it. It is not wrong to convey a feeling of compassion, serving, or kindness to those around you. Hell, I believer there needs to be more of that in the world. However, when you start to resent it, you have to step back and ask yourself are you giving you the same or better treatment. If not, you're depriving yourself, and this will lead to issues. It's love thy brother as you lover yourself. If you are willing to go out of the way to please others, sometimes you have to learn to say "NO" so that you can go out of the way about pleasing yourself. Beware, when you really understand this, there may be a teeter totter effect. You go from unselfishness to being self-centered. Don't worry, you already know how to take care of others. This is just the rubber band affect of you learning to take care of yourself. You will eventually need to learn balance, and what I have found in that is peace. It's all a mindset. Ask the your inner power to guide you to taking better care of you without neglecting the feelings and emotions of others. He will do just that. Good luck! 
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I too have this problem. That is why I have had many, many bad
relationships. I am now finding some self worth, which has taken YEARS of therapy. How is your self esteem? I only have to please my mom now, because I live with her and even with that, I am being manipulated less. She IS my mom though and she's 82! There are few things more important in this world of ours than self worth, because I believe it affects all areas of our lives. When I let go of my past shame and hurt, I can stop people pleasing and start loving myself. It's been a difficult road for me and I have a long way to go. It's hard work, but well worth it. I am so sick of doing things for others that I don't want to do. It's such a cycle of abuse really. Until I love myself though, I will keep people pleasing. I hope this helps you. hilltop33 said the same thing, just in a better way!!!
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