Codependency Support Group

I believe this is my sad situation. I have loved this man for 13 years and stood by him when most would've walked. He's saying he loves me and we're together even though I'm in Texas and he moved to California 3 months ago. But he has spent the past month catching up with phone calls and emails with one of his first girlfriends from long ago. She is apparently married but.. All these long phone calls (one he says was over 20 hrs long) They are yahoo IM with each other. "But they're just like old friend" She's married, I'm told I shouldn't worry. I should trust him. I find he recently sent her 2 emails two days in a row.. one simply saying "I miss U" the second day "STILL MISSIN U" But I'm who he's been talking with everyday on the phone not her, he says. I just know this is not healthy.
What I really think is that he loves me because I'm the mother of his child and because I have loved him for so long and he doesn't want to just throw that a way. I think he loves me like a friend but he is not in love
with me. Maybe I am wrong, I do have a past that's taught me to be on the look out cause men are always going to lie and cheat. I do tend to always see the worse. In life it's always so hard to know who to trust and what to believe. When you encounter so many bad apple's, it's hard to believe one's good especially if he often appears himself to be rotten. He has lied to me about drugs and money often times through the years. Why wouldn't he be lying about his true feeling for me and his true feelings for his "Friend"??

I just want to know the truth. Most would say trust your gut, go with your heart. I'd say that too. But my heart and my gut can't seem to make up there minds about what to believe is real or not, so they are no help.

I'm the girl who's starting to look forward to a future with me in a padded cell playing patty cake and mirror mirror on the wall, with myself...
Posted on 12/04/07, 04:47 pm