Codependency Support Group

oh pooh. i think i'm both. depending on which way the wind blows!
xo

I would have to say that I started out as the rescuer and ended up being the rescuee.

As for recovery methods, I can't say for sure yet. But I do think that knowing this does affect the decisions I make and forces me to focus on why I feel the way I do in certain situations.

Makes one very tired at the end of the day.

I'm with Afloat - depending on the which way the wind blows - but I think that the recovery method would be the same - it's about knowing we are not responsible for 'fixing' another person and knowing that another person isn't 'responsible' for the way we are.
Maybe?

i agree with maia....and i'd have to say i'm both too....egads....lord help us all....lol

Back and forth for me too. If I am feeling like a rescuee than it tends to be self-pity or victimization that I need to pay attention too. If I'm feeling like a rescuer, a gossiper, or overly involved in others affairs - martyrdom is my problem.

I'll look in any of my self-help literature, look up those terms in the index, and read the specified pages until I feel I'm getting to where I can move forward with my day. Anyone else do this?

Too much the rescuer...that's me. To the point that I do now know what it means to get my own needs met. Odd, but I just thought of it like this: I am trying to get my own needs met vicariously through meeting others' needs instead of my own!

God, "Self Pitty"...I pitty myself because the people I love toss me aside like a rag doll until they need to pick me up for a minute until they feel better than toss me aside again.Love me or don't.

For my 2 cents yeah, I think Codependency involves being both a rescuer and being a rescuee. That's why it's codependency. The people involved are depending on each other.
Nothing is one way. I think that's one of the big lessons to be learned about a codependent relationship. I think one may tend to rescue more than the other but both are feeding into the situation. Think about what would happen if the rescuee suddenly didn't need rescuing! What on Earth would the rescuer do then?