What is Cocaine Addiction
Cocaine addiction is the excessive intake of cocaine, and can result in physiological damage, lethargy, depression, or a potentially fatal overdose. Though the immediate craving to...
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hoping he wakes up
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today is one of those days..im so down with whats going on with my boyfriend..his addiction has led him to rack up charges all STUPID but thats what active addicts do best STUPID..if he's lucky he may get out 4 or 5 yrs ..hes still in denial but last night he did say he needed to get into treatment he says its gotten bad...i helped him move away 2 wks ago today he said he was going to get it together back home...now hes telling me this...its just dragging me down inside..i've tried to tell him its over but then he was crying so bad i changed my mind but i feel i want a life ..i deserve to be happy with someone ..i dont want to spend my life waiting on him 2 get it together..i dont want to feel im with someone alone kinda thing..i've made it to the senior class and want to share my joy and acomplishments,fears,etc..but he doesnt want to talk about those things seeing all thats going on with him..so it just steals my joy so to speak...all i do lately is pray for the situation..hope he gets help he needs and i dont breakdown in tears like i have every other day now....why he chose to go back to drugs astounds me he was so agianst it ..he had pulled out of that cycle then b4 i knew it he was a sinking ship ..i wish a lot of things 2 be different..but those are just wishes ..i cant help him i know..im just trying not to abandon him because i do care what happens..just need to get this out it eating at me lately..thanks 4 letting me vent.
Posted on 10/18/09, 05:10 pm |
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well just keep hanging on to hope for him, and he'll have u using 2? statistics show that you can not wish someone clean. look at your bf as an active addict, and not your bf. he is in the grips of this awful disease, and you could be his next volunteering victim! love has nothing to do with the disease of addiction! when and if he gets this thing, he may surrender to you as a loved one, or he may realise you were just another enabler! i hope you find it in your mind, because the soul usually decieves us when it comes to addiction. he is a person that will take you to the places to do the things.
good luck 
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Hi Lisa
I know what Your saying I have a Friend that for some reason I can't seem to walk away from. We have been friends for so long and each of us has seen good time's and bad he is the only friend I have kept out of all the people I knew in the drug world. He still use's and I still have Hope that someday he will wake up. I don't allow myself to spend to much time with him but when I do I know he can see how much better I have become. But at time's I think it makes him mad but at the same time I hope it give's him just that HOPE that he can over come this. I hope someday I will have my Friend back in a much better way. All we can do is encourage them and let them know we care. And it's good to vent Take Care!! Dan
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thanks connecicut,i know i cant hope him clean but it is a hope i have for him and all still struggling with drugs..i am taking a look at myself though as to what u said about being and enabler ..i do get him groceries etc that i shouldnt..i also know to distance myself and i have while hes been using i dont want to go down that road with him..and cando thanks for ur support i see im not alone in my fustration of dealing with someone u care about still out there..it is sad..and they have to make thier own choices..all we can do is prayer and i believe that works.
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Hey Lisa, I remember in early recovery I took on the notion that those closest to me would see the change God has had in my life and want that also. what I have found is God's timing of them having the willingness is very different than ours. Think back on your first step experience, if it was like mine, it only came after many many attempts to successfully manage having cocaine in my life- and failing miserably. Only when all other options were gone did I find the willingness to seek a different solution. Please stay true to your recovery, don't enable him in his addiction. God wants you to be of maximum service to those about you, keep doing the things that got God between you and your addiction, and pray that he has his "moment of clarity" that if he wants a life he must seek sobriety. Your fellow traveler
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Hi lisa, it has been my experience that until all my score cards read zero, until i was completely defeated, i was unwilling to hear the message of hope,faith and courage. The only way i was willing to change was when i became willing to change, in that respect, cocaine became the great persuader.If nothing changes then nothing changes.RSAHABD!
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