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Discussion:
Supporting my daughter 19 days clean
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Hello everyone, firstly I am so glad to be able to read your own personal stories and have found comfort knowing that recovery from this illness is always possible. I just wondered as my daughter has been an addict for 11 years and is doing this without professional help, how will see be able to deal with the psychological side to her addiction and what she has done not only to herself but to those she loves, at the moment she is saying she will be able to deal with it, but I am not convinced. Any info would be great, thanks xxx
Posted on 04/09/12, 05:22 pm
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Reply #1 - 04/10/12  4:57am
" the psychological side for sure is probably a huge part of the illness. For me it is a spiritual problem that needs a spiritual solution. My interpretation of spiritualism is growth and change through working a 12 step program, im not religious, im sure if your daughter is getting help she will find her own understanding as i had to find my own understanding of all this. I managed to stay clean for 8 months in the rooms i had a relapse and decided for me i would go to a day treatment where i could go for help during the day for 12 weeks and go to meetings. For me i just needed the space to put my recovery first, but working with a sponsor and the steps are the things that keep me clean today. All of my sponsors have never got professional help and have done it through the rooms. So i dont think you need to worry about that - sounds like your daughter is loved a great deal from you. But its is a hard time to go through and probably more to come so maybe a bit of TLC for yourself would be a good thing

take care "
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Reply #2 - 04/10/12  6:34am
" Thank you for advice :-) I like your suggestion of some TLC for myself, this nightmare has certainly taken it out of me, her dad and her brother. Addiction is a 'family' thing and for us it was something our family had never had to deal with, we have never used and therefore have had to educate ourselves in order to try and understand the cycle and learn what we were doing in the early years was only enabling her to use :-( so I carry a lot of guilt around for that. I probably need support quite a bit at the minute as I am having difficulty knowing when she is telling the truth or not, for me the lies have been one big problem which I dont deal with well. She is loved more than life itself, and as a family we will never turn away. Thank you and all the best for your recovery, well done x "
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Reply #3 - 04/11/12  8:33am
" It's hard for me to give advice right now with just having a relapse myself but but to give support to a loved one may be harder the giving it to a friend, but if you can see past the addiction and help her stand strong by making meeting's or going for some type of treatment program's she has a good chance of making it. but she is the only one that can do it as much as we want to help she has to want it. doing it on your own is very hard unless you make some big change's and still have some type of support. I'm not saying it can't be done but you have a better chance if you have a support group behind you.

I'm going to stop here it's hard for me to think right now but I will be thinking and keeping your Daughter in my prayers.

I'm glad your here you will find some good advice here and give some to you already did with me !!!
Thank you firefightermum "
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Reply #4 - 04/11/12  8:39am
" that didn't come out right I wanted to say giving support to a loved one is easyer then giving it to a friend in ways. all in all it's hard but if we can look past all the bad and see the good in the person even if it's only a little bit and grab ahold of that good part and show your support that good part will grow just like a seed we just need to keep water'ing it and tending to it it may take some time but it will grow and they will come out of that dark side of life. . I hope I said it right I just can't put things into words right now sorry. "
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Reply #5 - 04/11/12  10:42am
" Doing it on her own is what got her in this mess. Our addiction is present before we actually begin using. It is our behaviour and the way we deal with life. In recovery we work on changing past behaviours. We seek positive ways to deal with everyday issues. For 11 years she has reinforced addict behaviour in her life. How does she plan on changing this? Where does she plan on getting her direction? Recovery is more then simply ceasing to use. As an addict whenever stressful situations presented themselves I used drugs to escape the stress. I had to learn proper ways to deal with stress. Is she educating herself on recovery and all it entails? Why is she wanting to do this without help? This is a question she needs to ask herself. Admitting I was powerless over drugs was key to my recovery. I was unable to do it without help and I needed to put my ego aside to see this. Personally I believe she needs to have some type of help. I'm not sure what you refer to as professional help and noticed that firespinner does not consider the rooms to be professional help. I consider the rooms and 12 step program to be professional help. There is all the knowledge needed in these rooms for anyone who is serious about recovery. I hope you all the best, my thoughts are with you. "
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Reply #6 - 04/11/12  2:02pm
" Thank you for your reply, my daughter is attempting to recognise the potential triggers for relapse, she is also educating herself on stress and how to deal with the pressures of life :-( she also realises stopping is not simply about not using, she knows her whole life has to change, and she has to replace the so called friends in her life with a whole new bunch of clean friends who will show her that life can be lived and enjoyed without getting high "
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Reply #7 - 05/09/12  4:07pm
" I got clean in the program of Narcotics Anonymous. "

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