Cleft Lip / Palate Support Group
Cleft is a congenital deformity caused by a failure in facial development during gestation. It can be treated with surgery shortly after birth with highly successful results. Cleft occurs in somewhere between one in 600 and one in 800 births. Cleft occurs in several severities and is divided in two major categories: cleft lip and cleft palate.
Hello everyone!
I'm new here!
Quick bit about me... as you might have guessed... I have a cleft palate - but hopefully that's not all there is about me! But in keeping with the group shall say a bit about it - had it surprisingly when I was born and have so far had three operations to fix things, mainly they've worked, the scar is keliod (I'm not the greatest speller!) so is red and raised and the bone grapht I had when i was 10 didn't stick... so I've had the various offers from plastic surgeons (oh the joys of seeing plastic surgeons, and the desire to try and explain that there is a person beyond the "problem") and orthodontists etc. but I'm okay at the moment and can't really see the point. The cleft palate, in my eyes has partly made me who I am, I am by my very nature different from other people who don't have it, but then I hope I'm different from other people in lots of ways! I was, unsurprisingly bullied at school for it, but who knows without it the douches (can I use that word here...) would probably have just found something else about me to pick on - bullies are weak and horrible people often who hate themselves more than anyone else and who feel the need to hurt others, they are not people to be respected, but they also deserve sympathy - I think - imagine having to spend each day making other's lives a misery rather than doing good, it must really suck. Anyway, I've been through long periods of depression and have the scars (physical and mental) to show for it....
.... but! I am also a 27 year old, who has a wide range of wonderful friends, who has had many really special relationships with beautiful people who loved me and my scars! I've completed a masters degree, had a wide number of jobs within the charity and non-profit sector and am currently working in Cambodia (oh I am English... keep forgetting this is the "worldwide" web!) for an NGO trying to stop child abuse, trafficking and child prostitution. I am slowly finding my happiness, in my experience life (and I know this sounds cheesy) has become so much better as I've grown older, happier with myself and more able to distance myself from those who hurt others or at least be more confident and empowered to see through their bull**** (oh I swear too frequently too... sorry!) and see them for what they are. As I say I have wonderful friends, a good family and am finding my happiness, my cleft palate was and always will be a part of me and as I grow older it's something I can see with fondness! Oh, and (feels a bit odd) I love music, books, art, world cultures, film and the wonders of existence (them all... am trying to get to have vision like David Attenborough so I can see beauty everywhere!)
Anyway, I just wanted to come on here, not only for myself - it is nice to share with people with similar experiences, despite everything (as I guess everyone does) I still think "what if... " often and get kind of down about not being "normal" - but for anyone who is going through a hard time, I didn't know anyone to talk to when I was younger and wish I did, I would like to offer support to anyone going through what I did and try and stop them suffering as much as I did... or to realise that it's not necessary sooner than I did. I am more than happy to talk.
Anyway, must go, work to be done! but it's nice to see there is a site like this and I hope it brings you all strenght and can help in someway. There is a lot of beauty in this world and many truly nice people, you are special and can do whatever it is you set your heart on, I hope you all can see past your cleft palates to realise and (again I'm sorry for being so full of cheese, don't know why guess it's just nice to find a group, where people seem nice and friendly) that you are all wonderful people with the potential for great things...
Bye!! from a surprisingly cheese filled me...
james
I'm new here!
Quick bit about me... as you might have guessed... I have a cleft palate - but hopefully that's not all there is about me! But in keeping with the group shall say a bit about it - had it surprisingly when I was born and have so far had three operations to fix things, mainly they've worked, the scar is keliod (I'm not the greatest speller!) so is red and raised and the bone grapht I had when i was 10 didn't stick... so I've had the various offers from plastic surgeons (oh the joys of seeing plastic surgeons, and the desire to try and explain that there is a person beyond the "problem") and orthodontists etc. but I'm okay at the moment and can't really see the point. The cleft palate, in my eyes has partly made me who I am, I am by my very nature different from other people who don't have it, but then I hope I'm different from other people in lots of ways! I was, unsurprisingly bullied at school for it, but who knows without it the douches (can I use that word here...) would probably have just found something else about me to pick on - bullies are weak and horrible people often who hate themselves more than anyone else and who feel the need to hurt others, they are not people to be respected, but they also deserve sympathy - I think - imagine having to spend each day making other's lives a misery rather than doing good, it must really suck. Anyway, I've been through long periods of depression and have the scars (physical and mental) to show for it....
.... but! I am also a 27 year old, who has a wide range of wonderful friends, who has had many really special relationships with beautiful people who loved me and my scars! I've completed a masters degree, had a wide number of jobs within the charity and non-profit sector and am currently working in Cambodia (oh I am English... keep forgetting this is the "worldwide" web!) for an NGO trying to stop child abuse, trafficking and child prostitution. I am slowly finding my happiness, in my experience life (and I know this sounds cheesy) has become so much better as I've grown older, happier with myself and more able to distance myself from those who hurt others or at least be more confident and empowered to see through their bull**** (oh I swear too frequently too... sorry!) and see them for what they are. As I say I have wonderful friends, a good family and am finding my happiness, my cleft palate was and always will be a part of me and as I grow older it's something I can see with fondness! Oh, and (feels a bit odd) I love music, books, art, world cultures, film and the wonders of existence (them all... am trying to get to have vision like David Attenborough so I can see beauty everywhere!)
Anyway, I just wanted to come on here, not only for myself - it is nice to share with people with similar experiences, despite everything (as I guess everyone does) I still think "what if... " often and get kind of down about not being "normal" - but for anyone who is going through a hard time, I didn't know anyone to talk to when I was younger and wish I did, I would like to offer support to anyone going through what I did and try and stop them suffering as much as I did... or to realise that it's not necessary sooner than I did. I am more than happy to talk.
Anyway, must go, work to be done! but it's nice to see there is a site like this and I hope it brings you all strenght and can help in someway. There is a lot of beauty in this world and many truly nice people, you are special and can do whatever it is you set your heart on, I hope you all can see past your cleft palates to realise and (again I'm sorry for being so full of cheese, don't know why guess it's just nice to find a group, where people seem nice and friendly) that you are all wonderful people with the potential for great things...
Bye!! from a surprisingly cheese filled me...
james
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