Chronic Pain Support Group

It could be from the pain or from the medicine she is taking. I lost it all due to certain meds, but when I changed antidepressants the drive came back even though I still have pain. This is just my experience...

She takes codine and bruffin,
dont know what you would name them.
she does take a depresant,dont think that it affects her.
but i do know that the pain knock the shit out of her sometimes.
thanks for your reply.Gxxxx.

I would have her discuss it with her Dr. Some of the male drs. that I have seen in the past, blow this issue off. I'm not trying to be sexist, but none of the female docs have. I usally just ask them if they would enjoy having sex with their partner if they could never experience an orgasm. That usually shuts them up and then they talk in ernest to me about options.

Yes, this has happened to me many times. I think for me, it had to do with ALL of the medication that I was taking for SO many years, as well as my depression that had worsened because of it.
Now, that I am medication free, though still in much pain; I have had an increase in the sex-drive. Why that is, I don't know. But rule-and-thumb, "don't mess with a GOOD thing!" LOL

I had this issue as well, yes the pain itself can affect sex drive, but the major problem for me was the medication was depleting my Testosterone level, I believe for an adult male my age I should be between like 200 & 500 on the scale, I was at 87, that is lower than an adult female. So it could very well be she is having some sort of an imbalence issue. I now go in for a Testostrone shot every 3 weeks and it solved my problem thank god! I hope you all can figure something out for you, hang in there, she needs all the support she can get form you right now...Tim

Yes this happens, unfortunately, and it takes time to work it all out.

I've learned that after the flare is over, whether is lasts a day or a week, to not allow myself to stay down one minute longer. When I'm in a flare, there's not much point in trying to have sex as it's not fun for anyone when I'm in pain and can't be free.

However, flares do pass and you kind of train yourself to 'pop back' and jump back into life quickly and get good thoughts and positive energy flowing.

Yes, medications can lower sex drive but it doesn't, at least in my case, diminish it. You can still 'get there', it just takes training yourself. For example, when I am feeling good and am open to sex, I start thinking about my husband in a sexy way and I keep my mind and body occupied in those types of thoughts in order to be on the same page as my husband.

It's not like it used to be when I could just roll with the flow and everything would be instananeous. It takes more effort now on both our parts. His with being patient (and he is) and supportive when I'm having a flare and mine with being mindful of my mood (I refuse to allow myself to get 'too' down and depressed when I'm in a flare because it will linger after the flare is over) and open to him when I can be.

It's all good now but there was a time when I would get depressed because of my situation/flares and even when I would physically start to feel better, my mind was still in a dark place and it was very hard on us. I shut down and it left my husband feeling alienated and frustrated. Not only because of sex but because I wouldn't let him in. I did a lot of damage but now I know not to do that anymore because it is a ticket to hell.

I'm sure this is a much longer answer than you expected or wanted but the truth is a lot of it depends on how we think and our energy.

However, if there is a medication she is taking that is truly taking every bit of drive away, the doctor can change it to something that has less of those type of side effects.

Thanks Tim.
she,ll get all the support she needs from me.thats a promise.
thanks.
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Thanks GiggyG.
will take in everything you have said.
it will take time but i can manage.
and will look after my Dee.
thankyou.
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Slowmoving.
thanks.
will get my GF to see what the dr says.
we,ll get it sorted.
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Alot of the painkilelrs have the side effects of low sex drive.
My patner and i have being open about the issue of sex and what lead to pain.
I guess communiction is the key on this issue.
Some days we just fool around when i'm in alot of pain.