Chronic Pain Support Group

I think someone is not being positive OR helpful...snap...I'm just saying !!!!!! Deb roflmao

Holy shit. Am I allowed to say that here? I never see anyone cuss on here like I do....but man I'm fired up.

BlindTiger, you are NOT alone. I take meds daily, which include narcotic pain meds, and I hate it but I have to do it anyway in order to be able to get out of the bed, get a shower, take care of my children, etc. I hope so much every day that this won't be the case for the rest of my life but it is what it is. Don't do a damn thing that you don't want to do, including seeing the woman he wants you to see. This is strictly a personal decision for you and your husband to make. I am so sorry for you that you cannot share this with your extended family; but I too am from the deep south and I know all too well what you mean by living in a rural, Christian town. Been there, done that. My best friend back in Mississippi is feeling weird about my meds, she only recently found out. I did not keep anything from her on purpose, it's just that our friendship is one that we go a month without talking but still go right back to that familar place, so in an email a few weeks ago I realized that she did not know the extent of what I have been going through. Even though she knows now, and understands and loves me just the same, it weirds her out. Stigma.



I'm appalled. Appalled that this doctor has made her feel this way, that he has betrayed her trust, appalled that she cannot go to the doctor for a freakin FEVER for fear this man will judge her. Whether or not it was legal for this doctor to access pharmacy records is beside the point in my opinion; what really stands out to me is the fear that she has that he will tell her family. Just because she chooses to keep things to herself DOES NOT IN ANY WAY make her addicted. A person has every right to keep their medical history to themselves, especially since needing to use narcotic pain meds carries SUCH A HUGE stigma. For that matter, a person has every right to keep anything about them to themselves, there is no law saying that we have to be an open book. By the way, I'm not a caps talker. I cannot get my point across any other way. I'm so mad, I've never seen such negativity on this board, it discourages me and makes me want to go elsewhere to tell you the truth.

Val, I see YOU and ONE other person on this board that is so "negative". You see the REMINDER right next to this box ?? POSITIVE and HELPFUL??? If you don't like what you see, then maybe you should steer clear of the CP board. Deb

I worked in Family Medicine for 3 years and here's my understanding. If you having multiple scripts filled every few days from different doctors and your using your insurance, that insurance company can send a print out to your primary care doctor listing all the meds you've had filled as a concern. How much, dates, doctors, ect ect. If this doctor just called the pharmacy and requested this info without your consent then that's a HIPAA violation. Especially if he called other doctors offices and requested info on them prescibing medications. You may have signed something in the new patient paperwork that allowed this doctor to retrieve this info and didn't know it. With all that being said I don't think it's ethical for a doctor to call and yell at you and accuse you of having a drug problem. I think you are better off starting fresh somewhere. Wherever you end up you should be completely honest with them about other medications you've had filled in the past. This is really tough I'm sorry you were yelled at.. hang in there.
~hugs

Blind Tiger,
For the love of god, these doctors to get over the stigma of opiates! I almost lost my job because I would fall asleep spontaneously from being in so much exhausting pain. I found a doctor to finally say, it's okay. It's not healthy to be in so much pain; you could stroke out or have a heart attack. And it ruins your quality of life.
You have MS, a ruptured disk and an ovarian cyst. Hydrocodone ain't gonna cut it! They're all afraid of the DEA coming after them. After reading the Intractable/Chronic Pain Survivers Hand Book, I'm going back to every doctor who let me writhe in pain and asking them why they did this?
I was always regarded as the family drug addict, since my club kid days. Then it was benzo popping but now...I don't get high from anything. Pain,pain,pain....of course, my family doesn't get it.
Best of luck with your surgery.
Gloria

Thank you to everyone who was supportive and kind hearted- I really appreciate you all so much. This has been one of the worst summers of my life and I am having ovarian cyst surgery this upcoming Monday and am very nervous about it- they say i might lose my ovary and I just am not sure whats going on with that.

Anyway, I want to answer the nurse woman-Deb?-is that the correct name? I have been taking my regular pain meds from the same doctor for 3 years now with no problems. I did NOT need any other pain meds. This doctor I have told yall about is my pcp but also hes a long time family friend. He had no idea i have been on pain meds for 3 years now- noone here except my husband and my dearest friend (she is a nurse) know about it. Yes, I am ashamed of needing medicine to live- but even more than that-I KNOW what my family and others would think and so my hubby and I had decided to just keep it to ourselves. Well, when I ruptured my disk 6 weeks ago, my pcp family friend doctor called me at home and he told me he had called some meds in for me due to my pain and back problem-HE gave them to me-I did NOT ask for anything from him. But I am guessing that when he decided to do that-as a favor I suppose- that is when he discovered that I already have a pain doctor who has me well covered in meds. I am not sure if he sought out the info or if the pharmacy sought him out first. What I do know is that he then called me out of the blue and verbally attacked me while I am at the lowest point of my entire life but I was so horrified and embarrassed that he found out I am on the pain meds that I did not defend myself properly. I was just stunned.

Since then I have tried to go to his office to talk to him.I am going to tell him just how bad the MS, ruptured disk, and ovarian cyst really are and I am gonna tell him that I have been functioning quite well for 3 years on those meds. I have had many a conversation with him while on them and he never even noticed- and that s because I am not getting high-i am surviving and trying to remain as active as i can. Now, all that said, I have been watching the news all day about Michael Jacksons death and between that and this mess with this doctor I have decided to taper myself off the meds and be done with it. I am having surgery in 2 days so the real intense tapering will have to wait until I am healed from that. But I have made the decision that it might be better to live in pain than to have people accusing me of being a junkie like my dead sister really was. I know I can quit pretty quickly- the problem is this-how will i live with the chronic pain again?? Before I was on the meds I layed in bed alot and couldnt get up and take care of my kids. Now I have been so much better and functional since getting on the meds. but I hate this creepy feeling I have ever since my doctor accused me like that. i have known this man since i was 15- he and I have prayed together and he has helped our family thru many a crisis. So I give up. I will quit the meds very soon and then they cant call me a druggie anymore. Pain or no pain-I will have my respect and my good name back- and in this small Christian town-that is a necessary thing to have.
I love yall for helping me. It is so nice to meet kind folks who really feel for others. Thank you again. I will stay in touch. Yall could say a prayer for me on Monday- I am very very anxious about my surgery.
God Bless!
Ellen

Ellen,
I am also a Nurse. I am a nurse practitioner and also a certified addiction's professional in the State of Florida. You do NOT need to feel ashame for taking pain medications to control your MS pain or to be able to live a more productive life. YOU ARE NOT A DRUG ADDICT!
Drug addicts steal, lie, get different Doctor's to write medications for them (knowingly and maliciously), they will do anything to get a HIGH from their medications.
You and I and other's in chronic or intractable pain are not addicts, we have a condition that require us to take this medications.

I do not abuse my medications, just like you did not either! I take my medications as directed by my physician. I do NOT get high from my medications, I get pain relief...... I get pain relief that allows me to grab my cane or walker and go around the neighborhood to walk my dog and it allows me to go to church and sit on a pew for longer than an hour, etc.... I do not take them to get high, I depend on them to live, JUST LIKE YOU!

When it comes to Michael Jackson case,let me say this. There is a culture in Hollywood that is very permissive and we have known this for ever! There are Doctor''s in Hollywood that will write a prescription for narcotics for their celebrity patients just to be part of the posse! You see the difference here?? MJ had different Doctor's writing him prescription medications. I was just listening to CNN and this one Doctor that knew MJ was telling Larry King that when MJ ask him for an Rx for Oxycontin, he denied him because he knew that Michael had an issue. See, that right there is a responsible physician, most of them are not!!
The decision to stop taking your medications is strictly up to you.... But I will hate to see someone in chronic pain not having their medication controlled just because they don't want to be labeled and addict or just because some people at a forum pointed a finger at them.

You do what is right for you, but remember............ you are NO addict, you have intractable pain, you depend on your medications to have a better quality of life and NO ONE has the right to criticize you until they walk a mile or two in your shoes.

Lots of love,

Tipper

Hoarding and secrets are very common among people in CP. This is due to the fear, shame, and inability to obtain needed pain medications when pain is so severe that suicidial thoughts cross the mind on a daily basis. Since no one believes us, we will tend to accept anything that anyone offers "just in case" we need it in future.

This does not mean a CP patient is an addict. Addicts look for ever increasing amounts of medication for the HIGH feeling they get from it. I can't stand that feeling and pray to be off these medications just because I can not stand the 20 minutes of so that it takes for the feeling to pass. If I was addicted, I would instantly be taking more to get that feeling back.

You have nothing to be ashamed about. My mother did this to me until she got cancer and had to take these medications herself in order to live. THen suddenly she wanted to "give" me her script because she could get more easily. Of course, I told her there was no way I would break the law for any reason!!!! She later told me that was what convinced her that I really needed the medications that I take.

The only advice I would give:
If you like your PCP do not allienate with a "stern" discussion. Just calmly explain that severe pain often causes confusion. I frequently forget to actually look at the scripts until I get home. If the info I am getting seems really important, I ask the doctor to write it down so later after a warm bath to relieve the pain, I can re-read it and try to understand. Just the trip to doctor is enough to encrease my pain to tortuous levels.

Sometimes doctors do this to test your reaction. Addicts will become really upset and do more doctor shopping. CP'ers will not. But if I post our reaction, then addicts can "immitate" us and then where will we be.

My PM has a survery that I fill in everytime I go. I answer truthfully. This protects him from lawsuits and gives him research info so he can help more CP patients.

Hope you find help,
C

If you are FORCED to see this lady, take lots of documentation with you about pain, CP, MS and your history of medication use. Is this the first or second time out of dozens of possibility's that you took an "extra" script? That will work in your favor.

I've really had a lot of time to feel and think this thru and if we were NOT in chronic pain there is NO way we would subject ourselves to the constant guilt and depression that goes along with chronic pain. I have been a CP patient since 1995. This pain will not go away. I can only manage it with medication and I have tried every avenue possible to deal with it. I know all too well how you feel about the shame attached. Its effing BRUTAL. I cannot do even the smallest chores possible. My life before this was great. I looked great. I felt great and most of all I had optimism. Now it is ALL SHAME because of the close mindedness of some people. Don't pay ANY attention to some people that FURTHER want to shame you. Leave them alone to be with their own misery. Kindness costs nothing, and some people are just so miserable they have to spread their OWN LES MIS-ERABLE !! Hugs, Deb