Acute leukemias are very aggressive, they are lethal in a short amount of time so quick decisions have to be made and the treatment is hard. Full blown chemo, radiation, and bone marrow transplant are the usual course and survival is questionable. So when it turns out to be a chronic form, there is a momentary sigh of relief because there is time to think and figure out what to do, provided it was diagnosed in the chronic phase, which it usually is.

Now 15 years ago a CML diagnosis wouldn't have garnered many smiles from anyone because it would have meant that ultimately within a few years the disease would progress to the third phase, blast crisis, where it looks pretty much like an acute leukemia. Fortunately a little over ten years ago, Gleevec was discovered and for most people diagnosed with CML the disease went from a fatal disease to a manageable chronic condition. This is where the "you're lucky" part comes in. It's not that we're lucky we got leukemia, it's that out of all the leukemia's to get, we were lucky enough to get the one that has the best treatment options and survival rates.

I had one of the first oncologists I saw tell me "you got the cancer I can treat. One pill a day and you carry on. Who's luckier than you?" Whose luckier than me? Lots of people, but at the same time, I walked out of his office past many patients with other types of cancers who would have given anything to be in my shoes and have the treatment options I have. So it's a mixed emotion kind of thing. Sucks we got cancer, but at least we got the one with the best odds!

Welcome Dave. This is a great site for people with CML we all are going or have gone through the same emotions you are feeling. I was dx on April 1st 2011 after I had a non healing tooth sockett. I remember just wanting to get back to my so called normal life too, and each day I feel more like that is happening, we just need to give ourself time to adjust to this new way of life. I tell myself that I have cancer but it will not have me. Some days I beleave what I'm saying and somedays it feels like "Why me" but each day I remind myself that I'm a strong person and a fighter and this will not control my life. Hope your treatment goes well. Lori

Hi Dave. I just joined this support group today but was actually diagnosed 5/26/10. I do recall that that was probably the 2nd worst day of my life (the worst day of my life was just 6 days ago when my mother died). I was completely blindsided by the diagnosis & actually went back to work right after the appointment in a state of shock. Since that day, I have tried my best to educate myself by contacting the leukemia & lymphoma society & reading any info they had. And of course, I searched the internet for info about treatments especially the gleevec which my dr prescribed for me. The first 3-4 months were the toughest emotionally. I thought about the leukemia constantly & cried frequently. I definitely went thru a period of feeling sorry for myself. But then "life" got in the way of me feeling sorry for myself. I changed jobs, my daughter graduated from college, my mother got sick, etc. and I realized that having leukemia does not define my life and who I am. I am not just a disease and neither are you. I don't know how my particular disease path will go but I do know that I am only 50 yrs old and there are many people that value me so I just try to go about my daily life as best I can - today. I go to work, feed the dog, laugh at jokes, watch the Phillies on TV, take my medication, etc. One foot in front of the other. It may sound boring but it works for me.

Speaking of medication, I set up a reminder on my cell phone that goes off every nite at 10pm to remind me to take my gleevec. I absolutely hate that ringtone because it always reminds me that I have leukemia. But I take my medication on schedule & let myself feel sorry for myself for a few minutes. And I think my regimented mediction schedule has helped because my last bloodwork came back all in the normal range! It helps to put our CML treatment in perspective - 1 pill, once a day instead of other cancers where chemo &/or radiation &/or surgery are the only options.

To sum it up, I think you need to cut yourself some slack & try not to focus on how you are going to keep a positive outlook. It sounds like you have a supportive family who love you and that's a major positive. And remember that God only gives us what He thinks we can handle. Trust me, it does get easier. Gina

Hi Dave: Welcome to a group that nobody really wants to join. I see TKI Guy explained the difference between being acute and chronic to you. You can go on to live a normal life. I am livng with CML for almost 13 years this Christmas. I was diagnosed when there were no TKI's like we have now. Then Gleevec came along. I was in one of the first clinical trials for Gleevec in Oct. of 2000. I have been doing fine, and your right when you tell people you are doing a chemo pill each day they have no idea what your talking about. I have not been posting lately, but I see we are getting some new people on here. I will have to get on more often. You can send me a personal message anytime. I can get back faster that way to answer you. You have a great positive attitude, and that is a great thing to handle this big change in your life. My advice is to just keep doing what your doing, and if there are things you cannot do then don't do them.
Susan

HI GINA: Glad you joined us, and sorry to hear of the loss of your mother. You are absolutely right about God not giving us more than we can handle. If you read my post back to Dave, you will see that I have just kept on going doing what I have to do.
I will say though that without God, I do not know how far I would have gotten with everything.
Take Care and Stay with us on here.
Susan

Hi Dave,
It's time to take a break of reading medical topics and to go to this link:
The march toward healing
http://www.cmleukemia.com/other-support.html

Welcome to the group
Gilles

Hello Dave, first off I am glad you have a positive attitude. People say thats half the battle and I know it sounds corny but living with CML I believe it now. Anyways yeah everyone says we're lucky cuz we got the good cancer or the easy cancer...yeah you know were lucky its not AML or something worse but its still cancer & let me tell you ive been through just as much pain and crap with it as anyone else. I HATE when people brush it off or say stuff liek that. Anyways honestly. once you do get used to your meds and how your body reacts you will be able to live pretty normal. It took me awhile to adapt because I was switching from Gleevec to Tasigna. One of the hardest parts for me was being able to be upset & mad, I felt like I always had to be strong...but I def have my days. Anyways Im totally rambling but Im here if you want to chat. My 5 year cancerversary is coming up in July. Im still NOT in remission but still fighting hard. Glad Melissa got you on here! :)