Chronic Fatigue Syndrome Support Group

I have learnt to just let it go as the feelings of annoyance/bitterness/anger etc only harm us! I often think that allowing people who say these things to cause us to think negatively or to dwell on what they say only causes us to feel bad, as they say the comment: "Get better soon" or "You look good" and go on their way without a second thought. In turn, we are left stewing over it and feeling really bad.

I have alopecia and have had people say to me that my hair situation doesn't look 'that' bad when I had no hair on my head! At the time I found that incredibly hard to swallow as I felt as if they were being very hurtful to me, but I realised in hindsight that whilst I found it hurtful, they didn't actually mean it that way... they felt uncomfortable and didn't know what to say to me. Not that you should need to make excuses for others, but sometimes just giving people the benefit of the doubt and realising that a lot of people (even close friends and family) do not really think about you that deeply that they would even want to think of something hurtful to say, can have its benefits.

Like a lot of the people responding here, I don't think people mean the "Feel better soon" in a bad way - they just have no understanding and are poorly educated about various types of chronic diseases where severity may not be overly apparent from just looking at the person. I understand that there are many other types of disease and illness where people are suffering equally as badly as I am who are going through the same experience. I don't think it is CFS specific. Plus, I think that if you can detach yourself, at least these people are wishing you well and hoping that you recover from this illness - they are thinking positive thoughts for you, not negative ones.

I have found it better not to let anyone know im exhausted and dont feel like talking or going out. Iavoid contact so i dont have to tell them again.. No one can understand if they havent been there.Its a very lonely thing to have .My husband and dogs understand. Oh my sister is great about it. I guess Iam not really alone, am I.

It's like people asking me how am I? I used to go into detail (mostly because I wanted to convince them that I was really and truly sick, so there) but guess what? People stopped asking...
I truly do not have the energy to analyze every word or to read between the lines any more. and I certainly do not have the luxury of being able to always distinguish a helpful comment from a mean one. I react and answer from what is said, not implied..
I interact with very few from my past, at least on a deep level.
an awful lot of people have very strong opinions about subjects they know little about...so I just say let it go, mary, let it go....

I have had many plainly malicious comments made to me about my illness, but I try not to dwell on such negativity.

Usually the comment is laced with sarcasm, so in time I've learned to respond to any negative remarks by assuming the person meant well but just misspoke himself...and reply by thanking him or her for their concern.

Once a clerk in a big box store made a snide comment about my straw hat that I wear to protect my sun-sensitive skin, so I proudly told him in detail where I bought it and how little I paid for it, so he could buy one for himself. He seemed very bothered by that for some reason, but I just ignored him and went on looking for my plumbing supply items.