Children Of Divorced Parents Support Group

Dear Kitty, you have the right to choose what you like.
It sounds like your parents got in some relationships where they cannot, will not defend what is right.
Your stepmom is jelouse of the love your dad has for you and he doesn't care much about anything. Your step dad is abusive. No wonder you don't like them, you are right about it. However, given the situation, you have to be smart and make a plan of what you like, what is right and what you can do about it. If you can get some help from school, counsellor, internet, DS, to know how to protect yourself and get the most of what you have to endure. There is no point of confronting them unless you know for sure what you can obtain. What I am saying is that if they are confronted they can become even worst and you are helpless unless you have someone behind you to support you. Obviously you upseted your step mom. She likes your younger sibblings because they play by her rules, while you probable expose them or you are in some sort of competition with her. You either make her friend or avoid her totally.
Telling your father you don't love him is making her game, so why no play him and outsmart her? Pretend to be her friend, pretend to like her, be the victim and show it to him, make him defend you and see her for who she is.
As far as your mother goes, she loves you but has no power, she is weak. You have to stay strong and protect yourself. Do not allow your step father to tell you are bad. He has no right to judge you. If your behavior upset him, appologize sincerly and tell him you will try to be polite and consider him as long as he does the same. He is entitled to his opinions and you are too. Hunting is cruel and barbaric, is a thing of the past, we grow and raise our food, no need for hunting anymore. You can tell him back that being vegetarian is a healthier choice, so from that perspective he can be seen as evil, but you respect his choice,however you don't share them and he should respect that. Being assertive in a polite way is a must and if he continues to abuse him, there are laws that entitle you to be defended. He should be polite with you and respectful, so set your boundaries, ask a counsellor at school to formulate a polite letter and give it to him officially. He must understand that this is no game and that even though you are child you still have the power to put him in his place even though he might think otherwise. The trick here is for you to control yourself in what you say, record what he says, have witness and ask help from school if you feel abuse emotionally and verbally.

I am a step mom to a 12 year old boy, a 16 year old girl and and 18 year old boy - I also have a 5 and 7 year old. I was a foster kid and that was tough. I didn't have to wonder if anybody really loved me- it was a game- they got paid to keep me and used me for their own good- like doing chores from sun up to sun down. Cleaning up after their kids all the time. My foster mom even "borrowed" money from me- which was in a savings account that I earned- but never gave it back.

I don't know what it was supposed to teach me - except that I must be strong. Focus on your goals and what u have to look forward to. Count the days until your 18th birthday. Be nice to step mom and dad even if it means faking it.

My step kids fake it with me and I don't mind. I know I'm not their real mom and they don't need me for that. The only thing thats a little hurtful is when they come into my home and don't say "hello lizzie," cause i'm a nice person. They are kind to the little ones and that pleases me. Its like a big game tho- just concentrate on what you want for yourself instead of trying to please anyone else.

Tell ur dad that u have no place to sleep and feel like u should- u r his kid! We always have enough beds for our kids.

If you think adults don't have problems too- ur wrong. Adults are not perfect and don't always have things figured out. Somebody told me to remember what its like to be a powerless child in different (foster) homes- so that I can do better for my little ones. I have and I am. Obviously being in foster care- my bio family has problems. However, using what I have learned- I am breaking the cycle of abuse and neglect.

Sorry to go on so long- I feel ur pain. My biological dad doesn't have anything to do with his five kids (never ever talks to us). It sounds like ur dad is interested in you. I would be grateful for that and focus on my biological parents, if I was in ur shoes :)

Sorry if it sounds all preachy and stuff- u r lovable and deserve simple kindness. If u can't find it at home then look for it at school- u can be anyone u want at school- totally different from home- thats what saved me from falling into their patterns of behavior.

Much love to you dear- hope ur day was a good one.

Its great how you express your feelings. You are old enough to use real words to the nazi bitch! When she do something, "I like how you manipulating my dad by doing this or that..." Demand explanations. You don't have to mean about it, make sure you don't turn into a crazy person because you have crazy people around you. And when the step dad yells at you, "ask him, does it make him feel like a better person to yell at a kid?" and really allow him to answer. Its alright to help people to change. You are 16 years old, you only have 2 more years to go, but family is wonderful because you find out when you get older that your parents "actually" do want the best for you. My parents talked in a different language up until about 5 years ago. Now I understand the language. Try and be patient with them, you might have to tell them your feelings when they do something. It really workssss, unless you just want to yell or vent, but they really want you happy, I'm so sure of it! I bet you, you have no idea that you are the most important thing in their lives even if you don't feel like it right now w/every change comes so many emotions.