Children Of Divorced Parents Support Group

I see I need to set up a goal, well I guess that would be getting over all of the issues that are happening in my life and not allowing it to consume my every thought. I don't get on here much I spend too much time on facebook and I am now beginning to realize that people are consumed with their own lives and no one really cares about mine so I am going to try to focus on writing on here where people don't know me and if no one reads and talks with me I will just have to deal with that too. I've had friends here in Georgia who now have flooded homes and jobs and I feel really bad even talking to any of them about anything. My issues are nothing compared to theirs at least I have a roof over my head and a job to go to at least they have some help coming to them from the state (hopefully) I wish I had money to help them but I can't even help myself at this point in life. If anyone has read any of my writings you will know that my mom is sick with Alzhiemers and I have a jerk boyfriend of her's that consistantly seems to make me angry. Mom has been placed into a nursing home and seems to be doing great there, I am now the one suffering, I am dealing with the anger of her spending every last penny she had, which was alot of money. I called last week to the cemetary and found out that she did pay for her burial plot then I called the funeral home and found out she has not paid for that. I was told that would be $10,000 or more then I have my 70 year old dad who also has nothing and I will be responsible for paying for his funeral and burial. I am just so angry and stressed out over my parents and the way they have lived their lives.



In the last month I am missing a pair of diamond ear rings that I got from my mom and loved having then my 20 year old daughters lap top that she purchased herself for college that was sitting on the kitchen is just missing....the cord and the case is still sitting in the corner of the dining room but no lap top. Who in the world would just steal something like that. I think or should I say I KNOW that it was my dad. Of course he denies it and told me to go to the police but I know that man took those things and pawned them for money. Last Friday night our neighbor came over and asked if we were missing things he told me that he had a large bag of aluminum cans behind his storage barn and that it was now gone he also said that a couple of his tools were missing from his storage barn. He said that he knew my dad had taken them. He told my son that he saw my dad snooping around our neighbors backyard he said that he turned on the light and made noise and that my dad went back to his van. His van sitting in my back yard is where he is staying because he also has no place to live. He lives off of SSI disability for depression. He is just as sick as my mom but is still in his right mind. I am just so angry at him. I know that he has done these things, I can see it in his face. It is almost like a child. You know how when you've done something wrong and you think you are getting away with it your spirit/soul/conscience eats at you, well this is what is happening to my dad. He is being depressed, sleeping, starring into space and he won't even look at me eye to eye. I just want to tell him to leave so bad but he has no where to go.



I also have a reason I don't want him to leave and that is because my husband is in jail and he won't be out until December so if I ask him to leave I will be putting myself in danger of loosing the roof over my head. I only make 12.00 an hour and I can't afford this home I'm in by myself.

I am angry at myself for living such a co-dependant life, all I ever wanted was to be married, have kids and have a great family. My parents have been a mess, my husband is a mess and I have blamed everything on them for my troubles. I am angry at myself because I didn't go to college and do something better with my life than just become an admin assistant. I thought that I was doing the right thing by working, coming home and caring for my family,and I thought that my husband would be the bread winner and I would just be his helpmate but he isn't even here to help me. I had to cash in my 401k to make it while he has been gone and now I don't even have any money saved for my own retirement much less helping my parents as they get older. I am just angry. I know I need to get off of my ass and do something to make more money but what, I am at work all day then when I go home at night I go to the nursing home and see my mom then I go home and cook and make sure my kids and my dad have food. I went to the doctor this morning and of course my thyroid blood count is out of wack so I am also feeling bad because of physical stuff. I did get my medicine increased but anyone who knows about thyroid knows that the medicine makes you feel crazy for days until it gets straightened out. I am also going to start taking effexor for a while, my doctor suggested that this morning. He said I needed some help while I was dealing with all of this court stuff with my moms boyfriend and dealing with mom in the nursing home. I am just afraid that my life is over, I just can't see past my nose right now, I don't see any of this ever getting better, I only see death for my parents and costly expenses for me for the rest of my life.



My moms boyfriend sent me an email this morning and told me that he had a box of pictures of my moms that I could come get but that was all I am getting. My moms things fill his home and it makes me so mad that I can't have any of them. There is a huge glass case of beanie babies that mom and I have collected, its no big deal but I would love to have that case to go into my granddaughters room, I don't understand why he wants them. Also, last week I got a letter from him and he said that I wouldn't get any of moms items and that he was writing a letter to the nursing home to let them know that I had taken moms SSI check last month, he told me that he was giving me 5 days to prove to him what I did with the money. I wrote him a letter back and told him that he was not my father, step father or any thing to me and that I didn't have to prove anything to him, I then called the nursing home and told them that I didnt' have moms check and that since Jerry was accusing me of having it that I would call social security and have them trace the check, they said ok, so now I am just waiting to see what happened to her check. That man is such a jerk, I can't believe he would even think that I would do such a thing but then again I do because he thinks I am trash. Life and times of the only child, co-dependant person. Please keep me in your prayers that I find strength to find self esteem and confidence in the God that I know is in control of all things. It is just so hard to believe it when you are in the situation and can't seem to see past your nose.
Posted on 09/25/09, 02:09 pm