Children Of Divorced Parents Support Group
This community is for the children of divorce, both for adult children who have lived through a divorce as well as parents concerned about the effects of divorce on their children. Share your story and get advice in this support group, where there are others going through similar challenges.
My parents have been divorced for ten years now, I'm currently 16. When they got divorced, my mother left for another country while my dad kept me in the US. Growing up, I had mostly nannies taking care of me. My mom didn't stay abroad for long, but her moving decimated our relationship. It took years for us to rebuild, but we eventually did it. Now we are very close. At the irrational age of six, I had assumed that my mother had left me, but recently, I've gotten some more details about the nature of the divorce and it's completely changed so much about what I thought was true.
My mother had originally planned to take my brother and me abroad with her, because my father had never been close with us, or spent all that much time with us on a day to day basis. My mother did everything for us. When she told my dad she wanted to take us, he threatened to sue her with the best lawyers he knew. She was jobless and desperately wanted to go back home to Europe, and eventually left because she felt helpless.
I have never been close to my father, but this is becoming the last straw. He is incredibly controlling, irrational, and irresponsible; plus, he was never really there growing up. I lived with him for nine years, with my mom mostly on weekends, but he recently moved abroad for a job so I am living with her. I find that I don't miss my father, and I never call him unless my brother is talking to him via skype. I feel like I was robbed of a normal childhood, and especially as if I was robbed of having both parents around. I've talked to my therapist about it, and although she has been incredibly understanding, I feel like I needed some support elsewhere. I
My mother had originally planned to take my brother and me abroad with her, because my father had never been close with us, or spent all that much time with us on a day to day basis. My mother did everything for us. When she told my dad she wanted to take us, he threatened to sue her with the best lawyers he knew. She was jobless and desperately wanted to go back home to Europe, and eventually left because she felt helpless.
I have never been close to my father, but this is becoming the last straw. He is incredibly controlling, irrational, and irresponsible; plus, he was never really there growing up. I lived with him for nine years, with my mom mostly on weekends, but he recently moved abroad for a job so I am living with her. I find that I don't miss my father, and I never call him unless my brother is talking to him via skype. I feel like I was robbed of a normal childhood, and especially as if I was robbed of having both parents around. I've talked to my therapist about it, and although she has been incredibly understanding, I feel like I needed some support elsewhere. I
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My 6mo twin DD's are EBF and just started rice cereal on the first. Everything has been going fine except this morning one of them had a diaper rash (lots of redness around her anus). I read this as one of the signs of an allergy. BUT I did just buy a different brand diaper yesterday (which they have used randomly before w/no issues). Do you think its the cereal or the diaper? Im ready to start...
I believe it was a blessing in disguise. My father too was never there for me and step-mom controlled everything he was not allowed to love me. It has been a year since I have spoken to my Dad and half-siblings or sister. Which is fine. Yes, I am hurt and angry but I do forgive them.
The first thing you need to do is work on yourself and remove all the toxic relationships away even if it is your dad, and concentrate on healing. What I did is focused on my immediate family my children. SInce you are young maybe your studies, career and future. When you set your goals you will see that all your problems with your dad will fade. It is a working process though that I am still trying to master. Good luck.
You have been through alot! You give great advice. But what do you do about that missing place in your heart? I feel like if I let it go, I would be better off, but I'm one of those people that I don't know how to "disrespect" my dad even though he has disrespected me....I guess I just need some courage, but do you have any advice for this?
My advise to you is don't focus on your dad and focus on your mom and only positive people in your life. They seem to blame you because it is easier for them to do. Basically cowards in my eyes. I am a mother and if my daughter did not want to talk to me I would try to get to the bottom of it and not allow it to happen. If your father and my father really wanted to speak to us they would have come forward, don't you think? Just because they are are parents doesn't mean we need to bow to them when they do us wrong over and over and over.
I never used to disrespect my father never spoke back to him, always called and asked for him and stood by him at his worse times when no-one did. After 40 years of bs I just had enough. My anxiety , depression, anger and trust issues with anyone and everyone is affected because the abuse I had to endure.
Therefore, it is not a disrespect to not to talk to your father it is honestly a health conscience thing you are doing. You are keeping sane and peace in your life. If he, really loved you he would have called. Sorry to disappoint, but that is how I see it in my situation as well.
Hope this helps! Feel free to pm if you need to talk.