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My name is Anna and I'm 17 years old and new to this site. My parents are currently working on getting a divorce...and they live 1500 miles away from where I do. My brothers are both living with my dad and my mom is with some guy she met on Facebook. I haven't talked to her in 2 months. My dad constantly makes jokes about their divorce and it gets to me...I'm not my mom's biggest fan and the way she's treated our family is really messed up, but it still doesn't give my dad the right to bash on her so much. I talked to my brother a little today and he sent me a song and said he had never heard a song so true. It broke my heart when I listened to it. My brothers and I are all the same, we pretend everything is okay all day long and at the end of the day when we finally have peace alone, is when we let it out. My brothers are 16 and 11 and I don't find it fair that they have to deal with this. I've always been a "peacekeeper" I guess you could say, I fix other people's problems, but when it comes to mine, I'm completely lost and it just makes me feel terrible. I don't know what to do, I feel completely helpless and like everything that's happening is my fault. Like I didn't see the signs that led my mother to leaving and their getting a divorce could have been stopped if I had seen the signs, if there were any. I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm losing myself in all this and Michael is the only person keeping me on my feet. I just want everything to go back to the way it used to be, when my parents were happy together.
Posted on 06/20/12, 11:26 pm |
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You re carrying too much of your parents burden on your shoulders. Your dad is coping with the break up, the other guy, new household status, and single parenting is a tough leap when he probably didn't have a say in the decision. Give him time. It's going to be confusing for everyone while it sounds like your mom is being a little selfish right now. You don't need to be your brothers surrogate mom, but stay in touch, do visits there or to where you are. You still need to take care of your self too and don't take on more responsibility than what a 17 yo should be doing. It's your parents plight and even though you and your siblings are impacted, life really doesn't stop for anyone. It ll be tough for a little bit though grow from the experience nd be upbeat for your brothers, show them you ll always be there. 
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Dear Anna,
I am sorry for the terrible emotional pain that you are going through. I am recently divorced. I have two daughters, aged 8 and 16. I didn't want to get divorced, because I didn't want to break my girls' hearts. Well, I wish things were the way they used to be, too. May GOD give you Comfort and Peace!!! With Love, heathercliff
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I know completely what you are talking about when you say that you know just how to take care of others problems, but not your own. I have ignored my own issues as well, and learned from the mistakes. I am 21 and my parents have been divorced since I was 2, so I don't remember them being "happy" together, but I've dealt with mostly everything else. My parents bad mouth each other, when neither of them are perfect in any way. I moved with my mother in 8th grade (4 hours away from my dad and other family) and my father and his family didn't speak with me for 2 years. So I know how you feel in many ways. But I will tell you that you can't let this get to you and keep you down wondering "what if". Live your life and don't pick sides when it comes to your parents.
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