Children Of Divorced Parents Support Group

I am a 16 yr old girl from divorced parents. You have every right to question y your children are not acknowledging you on your birthday or mothers day. YOU are their mother, not their stepmom. I have a stepmother and would never celebrate mothers day with her, or fail to celebrate with my own mother.

I am a child of divorced parents I was 7 when they divorced im now 26. I'm not in that situation with my parent as I had a dead beat dad. But if I was in your kids situation I would want you to talk to me and let me know. Kids that age normally don't think about stuff like that and depending on how they were raised could be a little self centered. But it could be a possibility that they hold some resentment toward you about the situation when they were little. But if you talk to them they should be able to give you some insight. But you do have a right to know. It looks like you have done a good job and sobered up and have been a good mom to them.

I'm 24 and started to recognize my dad again. It has been six years since my dad left and two years that we didn't get in contact with each other. Ultimately, when I did turn of age I really started think of my dad as a dad again. Perhaps, your children were feeling angry what you did long ago. For me, it still feels very fresh, but since I am older and understand the mortality of life. I'm still struggling, but I opened the gate for him to come back and be part of my life.

It will take awhile for them to recognize you back into their life and perhaps get those acknowledgement you desire. Don't break off your communication with them. If your child is going college, ask when their Moms Weekends are and schedule from there. I think it would be best to celebrate with them on other holidays, memorial day or easter etc. and maybe one day you will be celebrated your mother day. Good luck.

I am a child of divorced parents. Both my parents were also alcoholics. One still is. They divorced when I was 5. In my situation my mother was a little more stable then my father when it came to drinking.(thats not saying much) My father was the one with all the money so he just bought his love from us. Anyway I am now 38 years old. I resent both of them but have forgiven them and moved on.

I will tell you this teenagers (it doesn't matter if they come from abusive back grounds or not) they forget. It's their time to be selfish. But it is also a time when they learn that being selfish is not always good. Just like when babies and toddlers go through milestones, teenagers like it or not are going through milestones. Their milestone is called society and relations. They are learning how to relate to people. This is the time they learn that not everyone is your friend. People you think care for you actually don.t People lie and cheat. Friends backstab. As a parent we want to sheild our kids from this but this is all part of growing up. This is the world we live in and your not the only one in it. People may not always agree with you etc.

Anyway, in my opinion (congrats on not drinking anymore) but they may be angry with you because of the family splitting and becoming no longer secure. Children thrive on security and repetition. Example: I wake up I have breakfast with dad at the table and at bedtime mom reads a story.
Because of these daily rituals kids develop a since of security because they no every morning they wake up what is going to happen. And a few months out of the year there are some surprises aka birthdays and christmas etc.

When divorce happens, this changes everything. Its like a disrupt of service. Kids start feel anxiety and not belong anywhere because the daily rituals are no longer. They don't know what to expect. Over time this can cause resentment. Most kids grow up and never face their anger or bitterness. Instead they ignore it altogether never healing completely.

Your kids may come around but like everything it takes time. Maybe talk to a therapist and ask them advice on how to approach your kids to get them to open up about how they feel. Maybe they are angry and they need to address it. Again I don't know your whole story or situation. I hope one day your kids will reach out to you. I personally do not talk to either parent anymore. But my situation is a lot different. I come from a very abusive background. For my sons sake I don't bring him around that family. My mother is completely selfcentered. She only wants to talk to me when my sister is mad at her. All she does is gossip and I get tired of it. My father doesn't care two cents about me. He told me he did not love me and that I was the reason for his divorce. I can't help I was born. My parents may have not planned for me but God did. I am suppose to be here even though they didn't want me here. And I rest in the fact God accepts me the way I am. Anyway, I pray your children and you could have some sort of quality relationship together. I can see by you even coming to this board that is what you want. God Bless

You have every right to expect an acknowledgement of mothers day especially, and your birthday too.
I am a 17 year old child of divorced parents, I still see both of my parents, they live close so our time is split equally between them. When my dad got re-married, I never even gave her a present for mothers day. I would just feel weird doing that since my real mom is still around.
I never thought of my step-mom as my mom, i would always call her by her first name. She was always more of a friend than a parent figure to me.
You should try to talk to them about it, just say something gently, such as that you feel hurt that they don't even acknowledge mother's day to you.

i am a 17 year old girl whos parents divorced and have suffered as a result of a distant parent. a parent may i add that lived 4 minutes away who never truly made an effort to see me or even care for that matter. the fact that you acknowledged that you needed help and still maintained a relationship with your kids is touching. a step mom never should replace a real mom god knows i realized this long before i should have had to. i feel that your children need to appreciate what you did for them and give you the respect you deserve as their mom! we all only have one mom in this life and we should realize what we have before it becomes something we had..